When it is time for a game around here, my first pick is always Yahtzee...yet we so seldom play it because I tend to go with the flow and wear my usual "peace-maker shoes" well. I remember my first introduction to Yahtzee was on a Fairfield Lake trip with my friend Trudi. We played Yahtzee all day with her family inside of their camper...great fun! I have been stuck on it since then, but now no matter what I might choose, we seem to go for UNO or Candy Land. (I must add in here that UNO with Banner, my oldest daughter, on her I-Pad is really enjoyable and makes her think I am up with modern technology because I actually can play it with her and press the right things!)
When we rediscovered Candy Land again this winter from the top shelf on my boy's closet, it was like finding an old friend again on Facebook. The colorful box had been tucked away with the mismatched sets of Lego's, John Deere tractors, and a variety of miscellaneous junk. The first day we played we were all very successful. We must have had 5 or 6 winners in a very short time span of only an hour or so. We drew mostly colored cards, avoided the licorice spots that make you get stuck and never happened to pick up the card that had the Gingerbread Man on it. Drawing the Gingerbread Man is the worst luck of all because it automatically takes you back to the beginning of the game board and makes you start all over. It trumps even "Go to Jail" in Monopoly and is quite heartbreaking for children and competitive adults.
That did not happen on this particular day. After several more games in a row with no Gingerbread man appearing, I made an innocent comment that I was really surprised nobody had drawn "him" yet. We played a few more rounds and kept on moving and grooving at record speed down the candy-colored maze.
When we were putting the game back in the box, I stacked the cards up and commented innocently AGAIN that Mr. Gingerbread must have been missing. Much to my surprise, my youngest daughter, Blaise, got a gigantic grin on her little face. Her eyes seemed to light up like she was "in" on something big or maybe even guilty of something big! She reached down under the box and pulled out a card! She had hidden the Gingerbread Man. No wonder we had not been a victim of his misfortune. He had been conveniently left out the game all together! Blaise said with a mischievous grin when she realized that I realized what she had plotted, "I can't stand that Gingerbread Man, so I am not playing with him. I took him OUT!" Her brother Bosque fell on the floor laughing. He was in awe of her determination to win!
I laughed as I put the rest of the game back in the box and thought about how Blaise was pretty smart...and tricky...and a bit of a cheat! She decided she did not want to play with such a nuisance as Mr. Gingerbread; therefore, she took it upon herself to REMOVE HIM! I explained to her that really if we want to play the game correctly, we just can't take a card out of the game and change the rules. We had to take the good with the bad.
It hit me like a ton of bricks that as adults we often want to "remove" people from our lives. In Candy Land talk, a few co-workers, teammates, friends, and even family members might end up hidden under the box and eliminated from our paths totally if we had the choice. Maybe we just do not like the individual, but often the reason we are annoyed by certain individuals is because their personalities differ greatly from ours. We just don't understand how they can think they way they do, say the things they say, or even behave and react to situations in such a different way than we do. The old saying "She/He just rubs me the wrong way" comes to life with these people we encounter!
I read years ago in a devotional book that the Lord will keep on putting people with the same annoying characteristics in your path until you develop the patience and necessary "Fruit of the Spirit" to deal with them. Funny...we can change jobs and move half way across the country and still find our desk next to someone who "irks" us like noboby's business. Not a coincidence that just about the time the annoying neighbor moves and the coast seems clear that someone else pops up and seems to have the same personality of the one who was just driving you insane. The same personalities will pop up again and again until we develop the grace to love them and deal with them, just as Jesus Christ deals with us and loves us!
Several books have really opened my eyes recently and helped me understand and appreciate personality types. I have a new and improved view of my husband and my own children especially. Since a book study last year in my Sunday School Class, I have told everyone I know just about to read "Personality Plus" by Marita Littauer. It goes right along with "Two Sides of Love" by Gary Smalley and John Trent. I believe the solid Biblical point of views presented in these books could help save relationships. It is POSSIBLE to appreciate how we are all different and utilize each other's strengths instead of despising them. I am amazed here at home how a Saturday spent working outside all day long with no breaks is the best to my son Brazos. His little brother Bosque thinks that a Saturday spent on the couch is second to none. I see it all the time here; we are all wired differently! It makes life more fun.
There are so many verses that cover this in the Bible and quite honestly cut us to the core when we decide to write someone off because they are just too different from us or simply because we do not care for them. The Word tells us that we will eventually distance ourselves from the Lord when we keep on distancing ourselves from certain people. It takes "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" to a whole new level.
James 3:9 says "With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praising and cursing. This should not be!" (OUCH... is the word here that comes to mind!)
Back in 2002 in my Bible, I marked Luke 6:41. It says "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?"
1 John 4:11 says "Dear friends, if God loved us in this way, we also must love one another."
How is this possible to live out this kind of love? Is there a simple formula to make it happen or a button we can push daily when we wake up to help us all get along? A starting point for us is summed up totally in the example that Jesus sat for us in Mark 6:31. Jesus tells the apostles the words that I believe He still speaks to us all today. "Come with me by yourself to a quiet place and get some rest." When we get alone with Jesus Christ daily, we can get along with others in our life.
The word rest too is essential in our modern world. Rest to me means that we take a nap every now and then and get to bed at night at a decent time. It also means that we are not trying to live a life with good works, but resting knowing that the work of our salvation is free with grace. We do not have to do everything! We must do what we are called to do well!
Rest also comes with knowing that the Lord is in control. There is a peace that comes with that kind of rest. We do not have to control the world around us and work to manipulate situations because God is at work! He can work more when we stay out of the way and REST. With that comes less frustration and stress. Then we can get along with others and begin to love like the Bible instructs us to do. Simply saying "I don't care for her or he drives me crazy" really does not work in the Kingdom of God. Life is not a game of Candy Land and unlike with Mr. Gingerbread Man, we often just can not get rid of people, but must find a way to get along!
When we rediscovered Candy Land again this winter from the top shelf on my boy's closet, it was like finding an old friend again on Facebook. The colorful box had been tucked away with the mismatched sets of Lego's, John Deere tractors, and a variety of miscellaneous junk. The first day we played we were all very successful. We must have had 5 or 6 winners in a very short time span of only an hour or so. We drew mostly colored cards, avoided the licorice spots that make you get stuck and never happened to pick up the card that had the Gingerbread Man on it. Drawing the Gingerbread Man is the worst luck of all because it automatically takes you back to the beginning of the game board and makes you start all over. It trumps even "Go to Jail" in Monopoly and is quite heartbreaking for children and competitive adults.
That did not happen on this particular day. After several more games in a row with no Gingerbread man appearing, I made an innocent comment that I was really surprised nobody had drawn "him" yet. We played a few more rounds and kept on moving and grooving at record speed down the candy-colored maze.
When we were putting the game back in the box, I stacked the cards up and commented innocently AGAIN that Mr. Gingerbread must have been missing. Much to my surprise, my youngest daughter, Blaise, got a gigantic grin on her little face. Her eyes seemed to light up like she was "in" on something big or maybe even guilty of something big! She reached down under the box and pulled out a card! She had hidden the Gingerbread Man. No wonder we had not been a victim of his misfortune. He had been conveniently left out the game all together! Blaise said with a mischievous grin when she realized that I realized what she had plotted, "I can't stand that Gingerbread Man, so I am not playing with him. I took him OUT!" Her brother Bosque fell on the floor laughing. He was in awe of her determination to win!
I laughed as I put the rest of the game back in the box and thought about how Blaise was pretty smart...and tricky...and a bit of a cheat! She decided she did not want to play with such a nuisance as Mr. Gingerbread; therefore, she took it upon herself to REMOVE HIM! I explained to her that really if we want to play the game correctly, we just can't take a card out of the game and change the rules. We had to take the good with the bad.
It hit me like a ton of bricks that as adults we often want to "remove" people from our lives. In Candy Land talk, a few co-workers, teammates, friends, and even family members might end up hidden under the box and eliminated from our paths totally if we had the choice. Maybe we just do not like the individual, but often the reason we are annoyed by certain individuals is because their personalities differ greatly from ours. We just don't understand how they can think they way they do, say the things they say, or even behave and react to situations in such a different way than we do. The old saying "She/He just rubs me the wrong way" comes to life with these people we encounter!
I read years ago in a devotional book that the Lord will keep on putting people with the same annoying characteristics in your path until you develop the patience and necessary "Fruit of the Spirit" to deal with them. Funny...we can change jobs and move half way across the country and still find our desk next to someone who "irks" us like noboby's business. Not a coincidence that just about the time the annoying neighbor moves and the coast seems clear that someone else pops up and seems to have the same personality of the one who was just driving you insane. The same personalities will pop up again and again until we develop the grace to love them and deal with them, just as Jesus Christ deals with us and loves us!
Several books have really opened my eyes recently and helped me understand and appreciate personality types. I have a new and improved view of my husband and my own children especially. Since a book study last year in my Sunday School Class, I have told everyone I know just about to read "Personality Plus" by Marita Littauer. It goes right along with "Two Sides of Love" by Gary Smalley and John Trent. I believe the solid Biblical point of views presented in these books could help save relationships. It is POSSIBLE to appreciate how we are all different and utilize each other's strengths instead of despising them. I am amazed here at home how a Saturday spent working outside all day long with no breaks is the best to my son Brazos. His little brother Bosque thinks that a Saturday spent on the couch is second to none. I see it all the time here; we are all wired differently! It makes life more fun.
There are so many verses that cover this in the Bible and quite honestly cut us to the core when we decide to write someone off because they are just too different from us or simply because we do not care for them. The Word tells us that we will eventually distance ourselves from the Lord when we keep on distancing ourselves from certain people. It takes "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" to a whole new level.
James 3:9 says "With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praising and cursing. This should not be!" (OUCH... is the word here that comes to mind!)
Back in 2002 in my Bible, I marked Luke 6:41. It says "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?"
1 John 4:11 says "Dear friends, if God loved us in this way, we also must love one another."
How is this possible to live out this kind of love? Is there a simple formula to make it happen or a button we can push daily when we wake up to help us all get along? A starting point for us is summed up totally in the example that Jesus sat for us in Mark 6:31. Jesus tells the apostles the words that I believe He still speaks to us all today. "Come with me by yourself to a quiet place and get some rest." When we get alone with Jesus Christ daily, we can get along with others in our life.
The word rest too is essential in our modern world. Rest to me means that we take a nap every now and then and get to bed at night at a decent time. It also means that we are not trying to live a life with good works, but resting knowing that the work of our salvation is free with grace. We do not have to do everything! We must do what we are called to do well!
Rest also comes with knowing that the Lord is in control. There is a peace that comes with that kind of rest. We do not have to control the world around us and work to manipulate situations because God is at work! He can work more when we stay out of the way and REST. With that comes less frustration and stress. Then we can get along with others and begin to love like the Bible instructs us to do. Simply saying "I don't care for her or he drives me crazy" really does not work in the Kingdom of God. Life is not a game of Candy Land and unlike with Mr. Gingerbread Man, we often just can not get rid of people, but must find a way to get along!
If this all sounds impossible,
try Mark 6:31 first and see where the Word leads you today.
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