Why a blog?

I was diagnosed with cancer in 2007 and soon began journaling my walk in our local paper and continuing my dream to be a writer. You meet me in between taxing kids to and fro, baking cupcakes, feeding chickens, running up and down my dirt road, fishing, sweeping the floors, stuffing the clean laundry in bathroom cabinets, researching how to get a book published, studying my next Bible Study lesson, or perhaps sitting on my back porch in the country watching my husband's deer and my purple martins. To say I am blessed is only the beginning!















Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Watching the Rangers...

My son, Brazos, went to his first Ranger's game last night. I can hardly wait until he gets home to hear all about it. He was thrilled to say the least about going and anxious to see the field where he will one day pitch. In his mind... has fast forwarded his life a few years and is sure he will be a pitcher for the Rangers or an XTO welder. (That cracks me up even now as I type because those two are quite a contrast and I love that he has an old soul, loves baseball and what the oilfied offers his Dad.)

We tuned into the game at 7:00 just hoping we might get a glimpse of him and his buddies. They were sitting a few rows up behind Josh Hamilton in the action zone!!! About 2 minutes into the game, Blaise staring screaming and jumping up and down saying "I see him. That is him. I see him. EVERYBODY LOOK, Bosque LOOK!!!" It went on and on until Bosque, her other brother, put down his I-POD and said...really Blaise? She was convinced that in the thousands of matching fans there in the massive stadium she had already spotted her big brother in his blue jersey. Bosque was into the game, but not her antics. All of this provided me with some pretty good humor.

I thought immediately that she had the faith of a child and maybe in her little, sweet mind really did think she had caught a glimpse her brother. She was looking, knew he was there, and also very unaware of the unlikely odds stacked against her that she would actually see Brazos. Blaise had faith and was stepping out in it...and honestly quite ready to shout about it!

She seemed to be looking at the t.v. screen more with her heart than with her eyes. Oh, if we could just live our lives like that. If we could just KNOW the Lord enough to know that even when what we see does not look so good, He is involved. If we could just get a glimpse of Jesus and see the world through His Word and His promises. If we could just rest in the FACT that he has a vertical view and we can only see the dim horizon of what is right in front of us...we could really live in faith and not worry.

Here are a few verses and quotes I read OUT LOUD and pray OUT LOUD when I need to be reminded that I must live by faith and not by sight!

"Now faith is the reality of what is hoped for, the proof of what is not seen." Hebrews 11:1

"For we walk by faith, not by sight." 2 Corinthians 5:7

"Faith is trusting in advance what will only make sense in reverse." by Phillip Yancey

"Faith is seeing light with the eyes of your heart, when the eyes of your body see only darkness." Barbara Johnson

"Forgive us our lack of faith, lest ulcers become our badge of disbelief." Peter Marshall

"Oh, remember this: There is never a time when we may not hope in God. Whatever our necessities; however great our difficulties, and though to all appearance help is impossible, yet our business is to hope if God, and it will be found that it is not in vain." George Mueller

Maybe the mountain that is standing in your way just needs a dose of faith. I am learning more and more everyday too that even when the Lord does not answer me immediately or solve my problem, that is o.k. I am finding that as long as I am growing in my relationship and spending time with Him, I may have the faith to see the mountain in a whole different way anyway and realize that my struggles, my losses, and my seemingly BLAH days are for His GAIN because He is molding me into who I need to be! As long as at the end of the day I know the Lord more, I am o.k. with whatever happens. I challenge you TODAY to have the faith to see with your HEART and may your heart be FULL of the hope that can only come from knowing Jesus as your Savior.

Blaise was so sure of what she saw when she stared into that t.v. with her big, brown eyes. I want to be that sure too of what I see when I look at life because I am a child of God and I know that my life rests in the palm of His Hand.

When I really think about my life, I have had a few glimpses of the Lord and I know I have seen Him in His glory because of what He has done in my life. May I...may we all...be so bold like Blaise as to jump, shout, and convince everyone around us that they too CAN SEE!!!!!

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

The Pickle Jar

Our summer routine, when life has so graciously allowed it to be our routine, has been to clean the house on Monday morning..using the teamwork concept...and then do something fun to reward ourselves for the rest of the day. We have had a day of swimming as a reward and pizza with a movie at home so far. Yesterday we headed off to Corsicana in the early afternoon to see a movie to pay ourselves back for conquering the dirt that so easily accumulates around here. I gave the kids about $5 each to blow on games and paid for the movie and snacks. Brazos and Banner had their own money that they carried along...just in case something came up.

Banner earns her cash from odd jobs and saves up her extra camp money that I have given her. She thinks she is so smart and that I do not realize all of the extra money hidden in her secret savings is really MY left over change...or actually her Dad's because I am earning no income outside of the home at the moment. The usual custom for Banner is to spend what she has too. When that savings account hidden in her desk drawer in the midst of paper clips and old pencils and gum wrappers reaches about $20...she is on the hunt for a purchase and looking for a ride out of the city limits to make the transaction happen. Yesterday that proved to be true. She found a $20 CD player in a cute, bright green and had to have it. She was a happy camper and all smiles on the drive home with the new device sitting pretty in her lap.

Brazos, on the other hand, was disgusted with himself on the drive back. Right about the time that we crossed the railroad tracks on the south side of Corsicana he spoke up from the backseat. You see, he has been earning his money mowing his Granddad's yard in Dallas. He has a bi-weekly appointment and earns about $30 cash plus dinner of his choice, a swim, and ride back to Fairfield in good company. Earning this money has been the high lite of his summer. He thinks "PUSH MOWING" is fun! We joke and say that locally he is probably in line to be the next owner of "Morrison Lawn and Hay" services. Brazos loves hard work, sweat, and physical labor.

Back to why he was so mad...he had BLOWN most of his money! He started off with over $30 and ended up with only about $5. This usually does not happen. He is a careful saver and even a more careful spender! He knows the value of a dollar because he is very willing to work for it; therefore, understands the negative value of just blowing it on nothing. However, he got a bit carried away with the games at the movies! He played a few too many rounds of basketball and attempted to win too many stuffed animals at the crane game. He said he thought he would resale the animals in our garage sale. (I question that explanation and think he just got caught up in the moment.) He had a few necklaces, stuffed bears, and a shark that whistled when you pushed on its belly to show for his money. When he opened his wallet and surveyed his winnings in the back seat on the drive home, he realized he came up short and was not pleased at all!

Because Braz is usually a logical thinker with a plan in mind, he said in one big, run-on sentence without taking a breath..."The next time I earn money, I am putting it all in a big pickle jar with a little hole in the lid. I can cut a slit with my pocket knife and push in my money. I will never...never...open it! I am keeping my money. What do you think, Mom? Is that a good idea? Do we have a pickle jar?"

I glanced in the rear view mirror and just grinned as all good moms would do and said "Good idea, Braz." There was no reason for me to add to the life lesson he had learned. I did not say "I TOLD YOU SO...those machines are full of nothing but junk....or anything like that." I just looked at him and smiled. Brazos had learned the lesson on his own. The really neat part about this story is that he had a plan already in place. He was not going to let it happen again.

The word that comes to mind here is INTENTIONAL. Brazos knew that if he was not going to blow his money again that he would have to be intentional. Yes, because I am 38 years old and have made so many mistakes in my 38 years, I know Brazos will probably learn this lesson over and over again until he really gets it right, but that process is how we learn! He vowed to use a pickle jar to help him attain his goal and I vow every time I goof up to lean more on Jesus and less on myself.

Every time I depend on myself, my plans, my motivations, and my feelings...I blow it! Proverbs 19:21 says "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it the Lord's purpose that prevails." Oh, how I pray that The Lord's purpose prevails for myself and my precious family.

Another verse that came to mind as I looked back at my son's sweet, but sad face was: If you ever wonder why you are being tested, facing trials, or learning the same old lessons over and over again, the Word says this: "For you, O God, tested us like silver. You brought us into prison and laid burdens on our backs. You let men ride over our heads; we went through fire and water, but you brought us to a place of abundance." Psalm 66:10-12

So often in life the "place of abundance" comes after the hard times and after our feet are really put to the fire. Then...in the fire...we know we NEED the Lord and can not make it a single day without Him...He saves us from it because of His unfailing love. Our relationship is strengthened and our faith is stronger than ever before. Life as a follower of Christ WILL not be easy, but we are never alone and nothing comes into our life, good or bad, that does not have purpose if we submit it to the Lord.

I love that my son learned a lesson this week! I love that I am learning daily about my walk as a follower of Jesus Christ! I am not giving up either, even when I am tested and I so miserably fail. I know God has plans, promises and a future for me that would BLOW my mind if He even gave me a glimpse of it all. This is true for us all if we know Him as LORD! It all begins with my relationship with Him and my obedience.

My recent series of lessons did not send me to a pickle jar and a savings plan. It sent me to a verse in 1 John 1:8-9 that says "If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."

I pray whatever you are facing today, this week, or this month, that you come up with a plan! Let the plan be practical and simple like the pickle jar. I pray too it sends you to your Lord and Savior. He does want to be involved in your daily life and cares deeply about each and every plan and purpose of your life!