HOPE

We did rock, paper, scissors, or something a few weeks ago to see who would go out in the rain right before dark to feed the "shop" cats and put up the chickens. I don't even remember if I played or not, but I won the honor of an evening walk. On my way back from the shop, I heard a bird still singing, chirping, whatever you want to call it even though the rest of our little chunk of land here seemed to be going to bed for the night.

The little bird made me smile. (I am a self-confessed bird nerd anyway and have been known to talk to my purple martins and even understand them when they answer back. I promise you they still knew me the year I was half-bald from my chemotherapy when I walked out to welcome them back home in late February. They knew it was me!!!)

Why did the bird make me smile? I could not even see it. I did stop in the rain and look back into the trees for it, but I could not find it. I questioned my sanity until I heard it again because it was no where in sight. The sweet bird reminded me of the HOPE we have when we know the Lord in a real, personal way.

I thought of the singing bird again today when we read our Jesse Tree Devotional book and put the new ornaments on our Jesse Tree. It was day 13 (yes, we are behind a bit) about the green shoot from the stump of Jesse. This devotional series traces the lineage of the birth of Jesus back to creation. The really cool thing is that the lineage does not only need to be traced BACK. It is still going forward daily as well. We can write our name in the line too when we accept the free gift of grace and salvation. His family line is not complete. It is not only about a baby born many years ago and a nice story to read over the holidays. What happened in that stable was a gift that is for us to take part in now and that is where the HOPE comes from!

The stump of mentioned in Isaiah 11:1-5 is Jesse. Think about an old, dead stump. That is really the human race without a close walk with the Lord and without salvation. The stump's life is over. It is dead. There is nothing pretty about it. Does the story end there? No, the green shoot is Jesus. He is life. He is the second chance no matter how many mistakes you have made and how bad life may be, Jesus was born for you. He is the gift of Christmas and is not just a gift of Christmas pasts. Jesus is the promise that even when we see failing economies, more and more cancer, families split up at Christmas, and children in need, there is new life and there is HOPE! Jesus is the bird that still sings when it is nearly dark. Jesus is the bulb hidden deep in my flower bed just waiting to bloom again in the spring. It will happen! There is life even in the midst of the dead weeds and leaves that need to be raked.

If you look up today and you see your life kind of as a dead stump, please know that there is a fresh, green shoot ready to bloom. There is HOPE and we may not always be able to find happy, but we can find JOY. He was born in a manger, crucified, and rose again. He is not finished! You may be, but He is not. Go and forgive today. Go and give today. Go and tell today. Do not sit at your window and stare at all that has not been or all that went wrong, there is a new thing going on today everyone can be a part of it!

This "thing" is Christmas.
It is the birthday of our KING.
His name is JESUS.
He is HOPE!
Do you know Him?

The next big thing...

If you are the mountain type, I want you to imagine a really gigantic mountain in front of you. If you need a sports example, put the biggest, strongest opponent you have ever faced in your path. For me, I am a simple hands-on kind of girl and I use my hands so much when I talk, that I need to see this visual not only in my mind, but with the use of my hands. The Lord showed me this point a few days ago like this: My left hand is smack dab in front of my face, elbow bent, hand straight up in a vertical position, thumb facing me, top of my fingers at about the top of my head. This is the hand position you would have assumed as a kid if you were going to pretend like you were going to chop a board with your hand! You know that one....

The point of my lengthy description and several visuals is this: My next obstacle, my challenge of the day, month or year, or the next time that something in life seems like a GIANT, I am going to look at it differently. I am not going to focus on the what is next...what will happen....how will I get thought this one, but I am going to look BACK! I am not going to worry about how I will get OVER the mountain or get past my opponent. I will not let my attention go towards knocking down that arm that I am holding up straight in front of my face, but I am going to look on the left side of it. My thoughts will be on what has happened before the line, before the mountain or before I lined up a faced my giant on the field or court.

What look back? Because when we look back at the faithfulness of the Lord, we may just find the strength we need to go forward. I can see the grace of Jesus Christ all over my life leading up to this point. I have trusted Him with my salvation to name a biggie and so many little things along the way, so what makes me think that at the point of this next big "thing" that He will not do it again. That just does not make sense. My point exactly! When we are in panic mode, nothing does make sense. We need these reminders from the Word.

Psalms 116: 7 says "Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you."

Psalms 143:5 instructs us to look back and meditate on what the Lord has done. It says "I remember the days of long ago; I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done."

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, life has not always been a walk in the park or a bed of roses, but let me tell you...The Lord's hand has been all over my life and He is not going to take His hand off of my life! Yours either. So, I believe He begs us to take our hand off of the panic button and rest in all that HE HAS DONE!

Whether you are standing in front of a huge mountain or a tiny molehill, a wimpy linebacker your could flip with just one hand or the giant of your life, take this into your soul and begin your day saying this out loud:

"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you." Psalms 143:8

Trust the Lord. He will not let you down. If the road ahead does not look too bright, glance back over your shoulder at all He has done. He will see you through the next interview or job change, doctor's visit, final exam, break-up, late night visit with your challenging teen, or day with a dying loved one. You just need to remind yourself that things and people in this life may fail us, but HIS LOVE IS UNFAILING!

Thoughts on today.

My girls have been sharing a room for now until Banner can sweet talk Santa into another room makeover. Her loft bed seems to not be roomy enough for her anymore. It does not surprise me because she is as tall as I am already and is only 11 years old. However, it has been so sweet to see her and Blaise in the same room. I walked by last night and had to even get their Dad up to cruise down the hallway and take a peak. They were all snuggled up and Banner was reading a book to Blaise. They really seem to share a new closeness that carries on throughout the day and not just at bedtime.

It made me think about how not so many years ago most kids shared a room all the time and some still do now, although it is fewer and fewer. I know that the "closeness" has got to get old after some time, but I also would argue that families today are getting lost in their big houses and in their big rooms, every individual member going into their own retreats and usually carrying a phone to carry on their own conversation with someone outside of the house.

I remember going one time with the Richard's family to Dallas to get matching polka-dot comforters because two of the girls were sharing rooms. It was the coolest thing to me! They were the most cheerful, brightest things that my eyes had ever seen. (Blast from the past...but I think they came from Joskey's...spelling?) Also..in their home when we were young, you were not allowed to close doors. I was not too sure about that then when Margo and I were cooking up a plan on our own, but now I love it. This closeness of family and the love I have seen my daughters have reminds me of a verse that hits me every time I read it that our time here to love is so very limited.


"Show me, O Lord, my life's end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting is my life. You have made my days a mere handbreath; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Each man's life is but a breath. Man is a mere phantom as he goes to and fro. He bustles about in vain; he heaps up wealth, not knowing who will get it." Psalm 39:4-6


I circled this verse and wrote beside it 10 - 11 and WAKE UP! I had to make an unexpected trip to Sammons Cancer Center a few weeks ago to have a few lumps checked out. Talk about a wake- up call! I was at Dr. Orms on a Monday to get his opinion. He called Baylor and they had me in the next day. I traveled to the familiar hospital alone because I have always felt strongly that in these moments when life seems so fragile, that I have to go alone.


I asked the Lord specifically as I drove north at 9:00 that morning that He might open doors, get me into all of the right people, and that I might could have all of the test, scans, etc. done in that one day. I did not want to have to spend the week making trips to and from Dallas. The Lord exceeded my prayer request, as He so often does, and I saw 3 doctors, had 2 tests done all in one day, and was back in my car headed south by 5:00 that same day. For those of you who have ever visited busy cancer hospitals, you know that this in itself is a miracle.


I was not only driving home that afternoon with everything done, but I was driving home with the news that I was fine! My lumps and bumps were nothing to be concerned about and my life in 2007 with fighting Hodgkin's is still past tense. All 3 doctors told me that I did exactly what I should have to follow through, but that this check-up was good.


So...what happens in that waiting room time. Let me tell you what happens. The music fades, the people around you carrying on conversations about work, handbags, and soccer games seem absolutely meaningless. 401K plans and the stock market do not amount to a hill of beans. The wrinkles on your face or new areas that could use a good dose of firming up are of no concern. The fact that you cook more, clean more, and are the only person in your home who sees the trash needs to be taken out or the dog fed does not matter. The unfinished project on your desk can wait or disappear totally and the sound of a text coming in is totally forgotten.

What happens in the waiting rooms of life, when you know that you may visit a health crisis again or even for the first time, is that you wake up to what matters. You totally get focused. I felt like the Lord took my face in His hand and literally turned me towards Him and said..."Let's think about these things, Betsy Elaine now that I have your full attention..."


The things I needed to think about would not matter to you. Your list would be different. When I sat alone in my 3rd waiting room that day, the above verse I mentioned came to life. I will NOT, I refuse to....live my life going to and fro and not love those around me, taking the time to color, go for a walk, make my nephew his favorite snack, or sit on the back porch with my Dad, Mom, husband, and the rest of my family as they share their Sunday afternoon talks, or love the kids who I am blessed enough to see daily at work. I have a family, and extended family and people in my community who the Jesus has given me to love and serve! It has nothing to do with me or my wants, my time, my to-do list for the day, or the fact that I think for the time being that life is not fair.


I am thankful and I am not just going to say that today because I am in the mood of thanksgiving and already full of ham and pecan pie. I will say I am thankful and I will live my life in a DIFFERENT way because I am thankful. I will not just give thanks with my words and hold it in my heart, but I will act on it! I will decide what matters and live like it does. I will LOVE and SERVE! I will also disregard the American Dream that says we all need more power and more money to be happy. What we need is God, family, and to LOVE for everyone around us, in the same way Jesus loved when He walked here on earth. I will not bustle about in VAIN or run around like a chicken with my head cut off because I am so busy, but I will wake up each day, pour myself a cup of coffee and ASK...What is it today, Lord? What should WE do?

short, but sweet!

SO...I have a new bike. It is really a gently used bike that my mother in law found at a garage sale in Dallas. This is NOT the fancy kind of bike that you see bikers on with their spandex suits and helmets. It a blue, big-wheeled bike that needs a basket on the front and seems to be looking for a spot for a picnic. It is that kind of bike and perfect for me!

Brazos needed to take the trash last night to the dumpster and I rode with him. Who am I kidding? I rode behind him and even had to stop a few times because my legs were on fire! The way back was a whole lot more fun because it was downhill! I got going pretty fast as I rounded the final curve by our house and nearly wanted to kick my legs out and coast...it was so much fun! Right about the time that I hit the curve, I hit some sand....and started to skid! I nearly lost it. I was so close to a total wreck! Brazos did not see me. Thank goodness he was up ahead of me. He would still be cracking up.

When I caught my breath finally and regained my balance, I stated laughing. It was so funny and I was so happy that I did not fall! I giggled like a kid. It was a CLOSE CALL and I kept my balance and did not fall. What a great feeling!

It occurred to me that I have the same feeling when I am close to a WRECK with a comment or word and I hold it in! I can save myself from so much when I just hold onto my words and control my mouth. It also makes me smile when I pause and think...and then decide to keep my mouth shut...just like it made me smile when I regained my balance and did not fall off of my wonderful, new bike.

There can be balance in life and we can control our words, even our thoughts and feelings. We do not have to live daily as if life is one wreck after another. There is so much energy spent in the cleaning up from our own wrecks. Life, or my bike rides I guess, will not always be smooth and easy, but there is a way and there is hope.

It is simple..."Jesus, help me today to control my mouth. Let the words of my mouth be pleasing to you."

A closer walk...

So..I admit totally that my thoughts the past few days have been pretty jumbled up from a week of Ranger's baseball and goodtimes in the backyard here at home in the evenings. Those goodtimes and t.v. time have made me realize that we are not studying enough here and so we have set goals for next week to flip more flashcards and read more books. To add to my sense of confusion, I work in the public school system and this seems to pile on the stress. I love the kids, but the demands of the TEST are more and more. Even if we try really hard to keep life simple and as stress-free as possible, LIFE does seem to creep on us and several times this week I have found myself rubbing my own neck to work out the tension that seems to set up shop there.


When I clear my head though, my thought go back to a day last week at the Waco zoo. I stood back and watched a group of first graders do something that I instantly filed in my mind to write about later. We were all making our way through the Waco Zoo at a leisuraly pace. I had 2 girls to watch and compared to the group of 4 boys I had last year, and it was a breeze! What a JOY. I was taking it all in until right past the giraffes . We rounded a corner and every kid in sight took off running to the fence to look at something that must have been quite spectacular. They all lined up on their tippy toes with faces pointed in the same direction. All I could see was the back of gray Eagle class t-shirts.

The children were so excited! Just from watching them all gathered in a little bunch, I was excited too! I eased on up behind them, at a faster pace than before, and looked at what amazing sight must have been waiting on me. I looked and looked. I looked and looked both ways, up and down, knowing some of these creatures can hide. After one final glance, I knew that there was nothing to see in this exhibit. The kids all realized that too right about the same time. We all rushed, ran, and lined up in a crowded group on the fence to see......NOTHING at all! The crowd was a bit down at that point and there were several red cheeked first graders with looks of disappointment. We had all been fooled by the first "Curious George" who headed that way with a look of enthusiam. We all were followers in a mad dash to follow the first kid who looked like he or she really knew what was going on.

My thought was...how often do we run to see what the group is looking at or doing, when there is really nothing at all worth a flip for us to see. We can get totally off of OUR path. We can ruin the plans we have made and become sidetracked when we follow the crowd. We end up loosing our focus for the day, or for the moment, when we think there is something bigger and better up the road.

Is anybody with me here or am I the only one who does this? I can be a leader, but I can also be pretty quick to follow. The truth is our walk here on this earth is so personal. You only have to look at a group of people for a minute to see how different we all really are. A glance at my own family and our unique personalities blows me away and reminds me that God, our Creator, really does create us all as individuals with individual plans for us. That is why it does not work when we follow others. We were created for OUR purpose and when we are on the right path to fulfill what the Lord intended for us, the path will not resemble any other path around us. We can't just run, follow, and look at what someone else is doing to get ourselves on the right track.

So, yeah right? Staying on the right track seems really good and clear vision for our goals would get us all an "A" but how do we do it? A song that I listened to this week on my I-Pod helped me see how I can live the life that I was created to live. "Precious Lord Take My Hand/Just a Closer Walk with Thee" was my answer from Selah. I need a closer walk with the Lord. That is the bottom line. No matter our age or stage of faith, we can have a closer walk with the Lord and should strive to do just that. We can wake up in the morning and begin our conversation with Him and never stop conversing all day long. That is a closer walk. It works both ways. How nice a sweet walk with us must be to our Father. That thought blows my mind, that He does want to walk and talk with me.

The title of the song is Precious Lord, Take my Hand/ Just a Closer Walk with Thee. It starts with
"Precious Lord,
take my hand,
lead me on
help me stand,
I am tired,
I am weak,
I am worn.
Through the storm,
through the night,
lead me on to your light.
Take my hand,
Precious Lord,
and lead me home."

The chorus concludes with "daily walking close to thee."

How close is your walk with Jesus?
It is not too late to start or too late to slow down and get back into step with Him.

This week what will I choose:
A: To slow down and take a nice and peaceful walk with the Lord through my daily activities.
B: To let the world pull me in many different directions and end up running around like a chicken with my head cut off?

With the help of the Lord, I choose A. (Not a perfect week I am sure, but a closer walk with Thee.)

What will you choose?

Piles of junk

So...I half way cleared out some of the junk we have managed to accumulate since school started one day last week. Because I knew I had reworked a few areas, I immediately noticed when there was a random pile of papers about an inch thick on MY black table. I stress the MY because I have a table that I keep in the living room with a basket of bills, my sunglasses, phone, and etc. on it. When I went over to pick up the stack of papers, I noticed another pile just like it over on another piece of furniture which had previously been cleared off and dusted as well.

I glanced a bit further and was even more surprised that Blaise had her little table, she keeps one of the front windows, really tidied up. I guess I had inspired her. She had an old keyboard that was just in position and a few old phones laid perfectly straight like they were arranged in an office. Her purses and Ziploc baggies full of fake nails were even stashed in a basket looking all proper and organized. What was missing from her area was the pile of recycled papers that we have passed down to her to motivate her in her studies. She had moved them onto my table. Not only did she move the stack, she seemed to have divided it in two and tried to really hide it by putting the two stacks in two different spots in the living room.

I immediately laughed because as all of my children get older they seem to gain wisdom and ways to accomplish and get done what they want. My favorite saying right now is...."I don't do things for kids that kids can do for themselves." Just while typing this, I have been asked to get underwear for Brazos and get clothes for Bosque. I responded to Bosque with my quote already mentioned and he said "I know...you have been saying that like a thousand times." Oh, they are wise.

When Blaise moved her pile of junk I thought about the piles of JUNK in my life that I just move around from place and place and never really deal with...thinking that I am solving something by putting things off or just keeping myself busy enough that time will help things pass. These piles of junk that we move, cover up, restructure, or even redecorate can be old habits that are no good, unforgivness, jealousy, insecurities, the urge to compare ourselves and our CHILDREN to others, or bitterness and resentment that we thought we had let go.

The piles just grow the longer we let them go unresolved. We sometimes need to take a honest look at life and get to the root of the problem. The root of the problem is usually that we were hurt and never really dealt with the feelings. We just act like we can move on and often we can't at all.

I was really struck by something Beth Moore wrote in "When Godly People Do Ungodly Things." She wrote "Dear friend, is there an area of your life still a weakness? Perhaps you have already confessed it and asked God to forgive you, but you have never asked God to heal you completely, redeem your past, restore your life, sanctify you entirely, and help you to forgive your pasts?"

The reason the idea of healing really caught my attention is because it was a friend of mine in Sunday School who read that out loud and I have seen it in her life! She has not only been seeking the Lord to help her with old wounds, but she has dealt with the grief, and asked the Lord to HEAL her. AND...He has! It is an amazing thing to see. Is she problem free now? No, not at all, but that pile of junk that she moved from place to place and avoided since she was a young girl has been dealt with.

I recently had a conversation too with a husband who reached out to his in-laws and there has been a major healing for both he and his wife. It came just in time too because they have recently needed each other. It is like again...the pile of junk that had just been moving from place to place over the years and avoided has come to a point of healing.

I am so thankful that I can see these little things in life and relate them to what the Lord shows me is going on all around us. I am also amazed that I see healing and so many redeemed lives. The piles of junk can get smaller in our lives. It is a great feeling to look around and see that what used to be a weakness can become a strength when the Lord is involved. Now...that is getting rid of some junk!

On the toilet...

My husband was stuck at work last night on a job and could not leave. About 8:30 when the kids realized that for sure, they started jockeying for sleeping positions. When Dad works all night, it is like it is free game for "fruit basket turn over" around here and where everyone wants to sleep. Banner opted for the couch. Strange request, but she has a loft bed and has recently been complaining that the heat rises too much. She is on the market for a new bed I know too. The couch to her is the coolest spot in the house. Brazos decided he would sleep with Blaise. He got in a new Bass Pro Shops magazine and said he wanted to show her a few things. Braz is in full swing dove season and looking forward to deer season. Bosque asked is he could sleep with me. The answer was YES! Bosque likes his space so I quickly took him up on the request to hang out.

When I got up this morning and had my coffee in hand, I headed to the kitchen table to sit for a few minutes and read my Bible. That area did not work because Ban was on the couch. I did not want to wake her up. I quickly remembered Blaise had made her way to my bed about 1:00 in the morning; therefore, that was an option for me to sit in her cozy bed and read. Too bad on that idea too. Braz was still snug as a bug in there all alone. My bed was taken by Bosque. The chair in my bathroom was full of clean clothes. I glanced at the bottom bunk in the boys room and thought that might work, but it was dark and I knew I might fall back asleep in there for sure.

My walk in search of a quiet, well-lighted nook ended in my bathroom. I decided to just park myself on the toilet. I did not need to use the toilet! I closed the lid and made that my place of study and refuge for the morning, LOL. I do have the best view of the lake from my toilet; however, it was still pitch black outside, but I needed a place to read and that was all I could find without disturbing anyone.

My thoughts this morning and my time with the Lord began with Psalms 139. I read that out loud and laughed to myself that I was reading while using a toilet seat as my seat! I thought of a recent line I had read in my Bible Study next. Beth Moore writes "God waits, watches, and hopes that the sun will not set on our days without our standing on tiptoes at the extremity of life, yelling Is there not more than this?" I imagined myself on my tippy toes looking out to the world and what the Lord has in store for me for the rest of my life. Thinking about the years ahead of me lead me to thank God for the fact that I am alive and healthy. Today is my Baylor Check-up at Sammon's Cancer Center. I thought of Callie, Ellen, Preston, Laurel, and the others that I met there during my treatment.

I did the math in my head and it has been over 4 years now. That thought lead me to another spot in Psalms 143 where I am just amazed at what the Lord has done for me. It says "I remember the days of long ago; I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done." What if we began our day with praise first and then needs! It would change our outlook I know. I thanked the Lord this morning and praised Him for all that He has done. I do not need to forget it!

My toilet session with the Lord, remember please that I am not using the toilet for anything but a chair, ended with a thought from David. He wrote in 2 Samuel 7:18 "Who am I, O Sovereigh LORD, and what is my family that you have brought me this far?" Oh, I am there with my life and it makes me excited for what the future brings. He has brought me this far and I SO look forward to where I will go next! The Lord has not only brought me so far and set this captive free, in a literal way, but I am seeing the prayers that I have prayed for my children get answered. The Lord is so faithful! If we are seeking Him daily, we will look back and see that we are far from perfect, but we have come SO far from where we were years ago. THIS FAR...moments are big to me!

It may not be a comfy chair all of the time, much like the toilet seat, and life does have some ups and downs, but I am excited. I love working at the schools here in Fairfield, simple things like watching my own kids when they discover a mouse in a hole outside, and watching my little nephew do a perfect fish tail on his 4 wheeler. My talks on the back porch all summer with my husband were the best in my opinion. The more simple I keep my life, the better it seems to be.

Life with the LORD in my life is amazing. What is next? I do not know, but my "toilet seat quiet time" reminded me to keep myself humble and to put the Lord and others before me. I will never need to raise myself up, promote myself, think I can do anything alone or that I deserve anything at all! I do not now and will never need the best seat in the house, a front row seat, or a red carpet in front of me. What a need now and will need until my last day here on earth is a quiet place and a few minutes alone with my Savior.

Tug of War

A conversation came up in Sunday School the past week that took me SO back to my middle school days. Every spring at Dogan Middle School here in Fairfield we would have field day. It was a really big deal. It was a taste of real competition and of the athletics that we all so looked forward to when we finally would one day make it to Jr. High.

Teachers usually picked and signed us up for our events. We had a little bit of input, but not much. I can still tell you the names of the 50 yard dash participants and I was not, still would not be, one of them! I was just not a DASHER! The 50 yard seemed to be the heart of the individual competitions. Everyone earned a green ribbon for participation, but the top 3 rankings were awarded with a blue, red, or white ribbon. This was BIG TIME to us all.

If my memory serves me well, you could usually count on Rebecca Titus for the girls in the top place. My friend Trudi usually got a taste of the action too along with John, David, and Micheal. Too funny! (Enough of that and onto the next event.) Well, somewhere in the middle of the sack race and the softball throw was the much anticipated class TUG OF WAR. This was a chance for everyone to participate and feel like they were a part of the glory. I had a special spot here in this event. I was usually one of the anchor girls!!! There was usually a guy at the back of each class who would lasso the rope around his waist. I was usually close to his side because I was one of the stronger girls. Call it strong, thick, whatever you want to call it, but I was towards the back of the class on this race. Enough said about that too.

When the coach or teacher in charge blew the whistle, we all had to pull and I mean pull! I have never pulled and tugged so hard my whole life as I did at Dogan back in the day. This was my time to shine! We used the old -school kind of rope too. It would TEAR YOU UP! Our hands were so injured at the end of the contest that we should have been excused for handwriting for the rest of the week.

We tugged and pulled, and cheered so hard to make our ribbon cross the line first so we could win. The other team on the other end of the rope did the same thing. It was such a challenge and so much work to hold on, keep steady, and pull back that I feel exhausted just thinking about it as I type. My hands hurt too now that I think back! We pulled back...inched up...held on....could not dare let go...hands burned...pulled more....inched back up....heck if I know or remember who ever won, but I know that tug of war was so painful and the most tiring event of the day! It wore me slap out, but it something we all just had to be in! Win or loose too now that I think about it, we were usually just glad for it to be OVER!

We covered "Secret Places" last week in Sunday School and this analogy came so clear to me! Beth Moore writes "Love springs from trust. Therefore, loving God with all my mind begins with trusting God with all my mind. It means asking God to come into secret places where I may harbor or practice sin. It means trusting that He's not going to reject me or forsake me or be totally disgusted with me. He already knows and He wants in. He will not clean it our with a big yard blower from the outside. He cleans up the mind from the inside only."

Why do we try to hold on to the negativity that may be living and breathing in our minds and hide it from God? It does not work. My kids love and song that says "He knows my name." Oh, what a GREAT thought that is. The Lord knows us and loves us. He knows me and He knows my name! The next line of the song says "He knows my every thought." Wow, that one for me is a little bit different and harder to take, but it is true. He does know my EVERY thought!

One of my darling children last week tried, and I stress the TRIED, to tell me a lie. The lie was a little one over 3 quarters that had been exchanged, shared, and then pocketed at the vending machine after school. I knew that he/she was lieing to me and all I wanted was the truth! I waited until I got the truth and then was satisfied, fine, happy, and ready to go on with our day. It was so silly! It was a stupid conversation that we were having, but I could not let it go because again...I wanted to hear the truth! I felt like I was tugging and pulling out all of the facts until I got what I wanted. It was exhausting...just like the tug of war match years ago at Dogan.

Putting it all together now, I realize that Jesus Christ has got to be just like I was that day with my child. He must think at times when He looks at me....Why would she be so silly to hold onto this? Who does she think she is fooling? All along He just wants me to talk to Him and be honest about what I think and feel!

He will forgive us and then help us with the rest of our day when we just open up and talk to Him. It is all about a relationship! He knows if we are mad and bitter about something that happened many years ago or even yesterday. He knows if we secretly lust after someone or something. He knows it all and we will not have peace until we openly share that with Him and move on. He knows when our thoughts are honest and pure and knows when they are a mess!

Where does the tug of war come back in? Well, it is so much work to hold onto something. You go back and forth by rationalizing and making excuses for yourself and for the way you feel. You even convince yourself that you deserve to carry around the secret feelings you do because someone or something has wronged you. Life does not have to be enhausting. Life does not have to be a battle where you feel like you are being pulled back and forth constantly. Life does not have to be lived with one foot on each side of the fence. Life does not have to hurt all of the time and wear you out! There has to be more. We are not promised a perfect life and for it to be free of trials, but secret places that we set up are not trials! Trials come from the Lord to make us stronger. Secret places come from us and from our own flesh.

Let go today and stop the fight. Stop holding on and thinking that if you hold on tight enough and work hard enough that you can fool the Lord. There is no fooling Him. A plan of action could be some time in Psalms 139 or even this: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength" from Chapter 12 in Mark. Meditate on the part with all of your MIND and be honest with the Father about what may be going on in there.

2 boys and 2 baptisms

My 9 year old son Brazos invited Jesus into his heart on 11-4-09. I know the date for sure because as we passed "Short Stop" on the way home from church he asked me what the date was and told me to write it in my Bible. This was not following a Sunday morning service or an alter call of any kind. You see...we pulled into the church parking lot on a Wednesday night to drop off his big sister at church. He asked me to pray with him because he wanted to invite Jesus into his heart. I asked him if he wanted to wait on Banner, his Dad, or anyone else. He looked at me like I was crazy and said...Mom, will you pray with me? I did. I questioned, as all STUPID parents do about children really being able to comprehend salvation until the ride home. When he asked me about the date and then wanted to make sure I knew it...I knew that he KNEW! So simple...and so sweet! Brazos had heard the Word in his life and had been exposed to the truth. He had seen the Lord heal me of cancer, help him with his own fears at school, and calm his all of his little worries. Why would he not believe? My thought here is why can't we adults learn a lesson from our children and once again capture the essence and truth of childlike faith? Brazos told his family that he had invited Jesus into his heart. He stopped right there.

Bosque, 7 years old now, on the 4th of July this year was about to get into the tub. I was helping him with his water and sitting on the edge of the tub. He said...Mom, I want to get baptized. I followed up with my beliefs and said...Bosq, you know first you have to admit you are a sinner and ask Jesus into your heart to be your Savior. He responded with "Mom, I do know that and will you help me pray?" Again...STUPID ME, I said "Should we go and get your Dad, Banner, Braz, do you want to talk to Pastor Ken first?" Bosque said "Mom, can you just help me and pray with me now?" We prayed and the next day he announced quietly to everyone that he had invited Jesus into his heart and was going to be baptized AT CHURCH!

Brazos has always wanted to be baptized at our lake. I think it all began when I heard a Kenny Chesney song with Randy Travis many years ago at church in Dallas and later shared it with my kids. It was a thought of mine that one of my children could be baptized here at the lake if they wanted to and he did! Brazos takes care of the land here and already says that he will marry a country girl and be just fine right here in a house by us. He has covered more ground on his Polaris 4 wheeler than my other three children may ever cover here by our house in their whole lives. He is an outdoors man...shoots at anything that moves, and thinks that clearing a fence-line is FUN on a Saturday. Braz dressed up like George Staight and thinks Aaron Watson is the coolest singer in the world. Totally second to the simple, yet faith-filled salvation prayer in the parking lot at church, was his baptism day in my mind....but so fitting for him!

Oh, what about my Bosque boy? Well, he is another story all together. He was all over being baptized at FBC and looked at Brazos like he must be crazy to get in the lake! He put on his favorite baseball t-shirt, NIKE slides, some workout shorts, and headed on up the stairs at church to change into his white robe last Sunday. He did get very nervous at the end and asked me if there would be people in church watching...DUH! I told him yes, but that Pastor Ken would be with him. He made the walk into the water by himself and had the most serious, sweet, and a little bit scared look on his face that I have ever seen. He changed into his second outfit of the day, khaki shorts and an Eagle t-shirt, and was ready to finish church and get to Sam's to eat. A totally different kid from Brazos and a totally different look for the day!

I just love it! I love my boys! More than that though I love that the Lord is so faithful and that He is real! He is so personal and meets us all just where we are! Jesus Christ met Brazos in the church parking lot a few years ago and Bosque in the bathroom of my home! Why do we get so caught up in what we will wear and what everyone will think if we do this or that, and all of the rules that seem to come with being a Christian? The Lord does not call us to be legalistic, He just wants us to COME to Him, know Him, and try our best to follow Him.

I knew "about" the Lord my whole life, prayed, and had a pink Bible with my name on it, but I did not KNOW him as my own Savior until 9 years ago. He was with me all along but I seemed to run and look everywhere else. If you are running, looking and in need of help, look no further! He can save you and have your place in heaven ready, but He will also help you here on earth. If your marriage is failing, Jesus Christ says come. If you are lonely, He says come. If you are tired and weak, sick and weary, He says come. If you are in need of a Savior, He says come. No matter how you look, where you live, what your past may have been like, He says come. Why wait?

Romans 5: 6 tells us "You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly."

Now that a week has nearly past since our special day and we have a week of school under our belts, I sit and read this verse....taking it all in...."Praise be to the Lord God, the God of Israel, who alone does marvelous deeds." Psalm 73:18

Watching the Rangers...

My son, Brazos, went to his first Ranger's game last night. I can hardly wait until he gets home to hear all about it. He was thrilled to say the least about going and anxious to see the field where he will one day pitch. In his mind... has fast forwarded his life a few years and is sure he will be a pitcher for the Rangers or an XTO welder. (That cracks me up even now as I type because those two are quite a contrast and I love that he has an old soul, loves baseball and what the oilfied offers his Dad.)

We tuned into the game at 7:00 just hoping we might get a glimpse of him and his buddies. They were sitting a few rows up behind Josh Hamilton in the action zone!!! About 2 minutes into the game, Blaise staring screaming and jumping up and down saying "I see him. That is him. I see him. EVERYBODY LOOK, Bosque LOOK!!!" It went on and on until Bosque, her other brother, put down his I-POD and said...really Blaise? She was convinced that in the thousands of matching fans there in the massive stadium she had already spotted her big brother in his blue jersey. Bosque was into the game, but not her antics. All of this provided me with some pretty good humor.

I thought immediately that she had the faith of a child and maybe in her little, sweet mind really did think she had caught a glimpse her brother. She was looking, knew he was there, and also very unaware of the unlikely odds stacked against her that she would actually see Brazos. Blaise had faith and was stepping out in it...and honestly quite ready to shout about it!

She seemed to be looking at the t.v. screen more with her heart than with her eyes. Oh, if we could just live our lives like that. If we could just KNOW the Lord enough to know that even when what we see does not look so good, He is involved. If we could just get a glimpse of Jesus and see the world through His Word and His promises. If we could just rest in the FACT that he has a vertical view and we can only see the dim horizon of what is right in front of us...we could really live in faith and not worry.

Here are a few verses and quotes I read OUT LOUD and pray OUT LOUD when I need to be reminded that I must live by faith and not by sight!

"Now faith is the reality of what is hoped for, the proof of what is not seen." Hebrews 11:1

"For we walk by faith, not by sight." 2 Corinthians 5:7

"Faith is trusting in advance what will only make sense in reverse." by Phillip Yancey

"Faith is seeing light with the eyes of your heart, when the eyes of your body see only darkness." Barbara Johnson

"Forgive us our lack of faith, lest ulcers become our badge of disbelief." Peter Marshall

"Oh, remember this: There is never a time when we may not hope in God. Whatever our necessities; however great our difficulties, and though to all appearance help is impossible, yet our business is to hope if God, and it will be found that it is not in vain." George Mueller

Maybe the mountain that is standing in your way just needs a dose of faith. I am learning more and more everyday too that even when the Lord does not answer me immediately or solve my problem, that is o.k. I am finding that as long as I am growing in my relationship and spending time with Him, I may have the faith to see the mountain in a whole different way anyway and realize that my struggles, my losses, and my seemingly BLAH days are for His GAIN because He is molding me into who I need to be! As long as at the end of the day I know the Lord more, I am o.k. with whatever happens. I challenge you TODAY to have the faith to see with your HEART and may your heart be FULL of the hope that can only come from knowing Jesus as your Savior.

Blaise was so sure of what she saw when she stared into that t.v. with her big, brown eyes. I want to be that sure too of what I see when I look at life because I am a child of God and I know that my life rests in the palm of His Hand.

When I really think about my life, I have had a few glimpses of the Lord and I know I have seen Him in His glory because of what He has done in my life. May I...may we all...be so bold like Blaise as to jump, shout, and convince everyone around us that they too CAN SEE!!!!!

The Pickle Jar

Our summer routine, when life has so graciously allowed it to be our routine, has been to clean the house on Monday morning..using the teamwork concept...and then do something fun to reward ourselves for the rest of the day. We have had a day of swimming as a reward and pizza with a movie at home so far. Yesterday we headed off to Corsicana in the early afternoon to see a movie to pay ourselves back for conquering the dirt that so easily accumulates around here. I gave the kids about $5 each to blow on games and paid for the movie and snacks. Brazos and Banner had their own money that they carried along...just in case something came up.

Banner earns her cash from odd jobs and saves up her extra camp money that I have given her. She thinks she is so smart and that I do not realize all of the extra money hidden in her secret savings is really MY left over change...or actually her Dad's because I am earning no income outside of the home at the moment. The usual custom for Banner is to spend what she has too. When that savings account hidden in her desk drawer in the midst of paper clips and old pencils and gum wrappers reaches about $20...she is on the hunt for a purchase and looking for a ride out of the city limits to make the transaction happen. Yesterday that proved to be true. She found a $20 CD player in a cute, bright green and had to have it. She was a happy camper and all smiles on the drive home with the new device sitting pretty in her lap.

Brazos, on the other hand, was disgusted with himself on the drive back. Right about the time that we crossed the railroad tracks on the south side of Corsicana he spoke up from the backseat. You see, he has been earning his money mowing his Granddad's yard in Dallas. He has a bi-weekly appointment and earns about $30 cash plus dinner of his choice, a swim, and ride back to Fairfield in good company. Earning this money has been the high lite of his summer. He thinks "PUSH MOWING" is fun! We joke and say that locally he is probably in line to be the next owner of "Morrison Lawn and Hay" services. Brazos loves hard work, sweat, and physical labor.

Back to why he was so mad...he had BLOWN most of his money! He started off with over $30 and ended up with only about $5. This usually does not happen. He is a careful saver and even a more careful spender! He knows the value of a dollar because he is very willing to work for it; therefore, understands the negative value of just blowing it on nothing. However, he got a bit carried away with the games at the movies! He played a few too many rounds of basketball and attempted to win too many stuffed animals at the crane game. He said he thought he would resale the animals in our garage sale. (I question that explanation and think he just got caught up in the moment.) He had a few necklaces, stuffed bears, and a shark that whistled when you pushed on its belly to show for his money. When he opened his wallet and surveyed his winnings in the back seat on the drive home, he realized he came up short and was not pleased at all!

Because Braz is usually a logical thinker with a plan in mind, he said in one big, run-on sentence without taking a breath..."The next time I earn money, I am putting it all in a big pickle jar with a little hole in the lid. I can cut a slit with my pocket knife and push in my money. I will never...never...open it! I am keeping my money. What do you think, Mom? Is that a good idea? Do we have a pickle jar?"

I glanced in the rear view mirror and just grinned as all good moms would do and said "Good idea, Braz." There was no reason for me to add to the life lesson he had learned. I did not say "I TOLD YOU SO...those machines are full of nothing but junk....or anything like that." I just looked at him and smiled. Brazos had learned the lesson on his own. The really neat part about this story is that he had a plan already in place. He was not going to let it happen again.

The word that comes to mind here is INTENTIONAL. Brazos knew that if he was not going to blow his money again that he would have to be intentional. Yes, because I am 38 years old and have made so many mistakes in my 38 years, I know Brazos will probably learn this lesson over and over again until he really gets it right, but that process is how we learn! He vowed to use a pickle jar to help him attain his goal and I vow every time I goof up to lean more on Jesus and less on myself.

Every time I depend on myself, my plans, my motivations, and my feelings...I blow it! Proverbs 19:21 says "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it the Lord's purpose that prevails." Oh, how I pray that The Lord's purpose prevails for myself and my precious family.

Another verse that came to mind as I looked back at my son's sweet, but sad face was: If you ever wonder why you are being tested, facing trials, or learning the same old lessons over and over again, the Word says this: "For you, O God, tested us like silver. You brought us into prison and laid burdens on our backs. You let men ride over our heads; we went through fire and water, but you brought us to a place of abundance." Psalm 66:10-12

So often in life the "place of abundance" comes after the hard times and after our feet are really put to the fire. Then...in the fire...we know we NEED the Lord and can not make it a single day without Him...He saves us from it because of His unfailing love. Our relationship is strengthened and our faith is stronger than ever before. Life as a follower of Christ WILL not be easy, but we are never alone and nothing comes into our life, good or bad, that does not have purpose if we submit it to the Lord.

I love that my son learned a lesson this week! I love that I am learning daily about my walk as a follower of Jesus Christ! I am not giving up either, even when I am tested and I so miserably fail. I know God has plans, promises and a future for me that would BLOW my mind if He even gave me a glimpse of it all. This is true for us all if we know Him as LORD! It all begins with my relationship with Him and my obedience.

My recent series of lessons did not send me to a pickle jar and a savings plan. It sent me to a verse in 1 John 1:8-9 that says "If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."

I pray whatever you are facing today, this week, or this month, that you come up with a plan! Let the plan be practical and simple like the pickle jar. I pray too it sends you to your Lord and Savior. He does want to be involved in your daily life and cares deeply about each and every plan and purpose of your life!

Hush, Be Still

So, after the 2011 Freestone County Parade last night, which was great as usual and a true reflection of "Small Town U.S.A" we sat around here and visited with a new family in town. The subject turned to a root canal that one of the men had scheduled for Thursday and how several of us in attendance hated needles, shots, and everything related to medical pain. The true tales followed a similar plot of times being strapped down in the ER or in the dentist chair. We were a modern, country version of ER around my kitchen bar and table for 30 minutes or so. One of the 5 year olds shared a tale of how she decked a nurse on accident one time when she was going to have her chin stitched up. Her story won first place in my book.

The thought entered my mind again this morning first thing when I walked over to check in on my daughter's lamb. I cracked up thinking back to how my Dad and I had wrestled the lamb to the ground one evening to give it a shot. Then, a month later for the booster, my Father in Law and I had round 2 in the ring and the lamb won! My fond and funny memories with the lamb have a common thread to the stories we shared last night. It seems to be human nature, life in the flesh at all levels, to fight when we fear or when we do not like being held down and trapped!

Refusal to be still, give up the fight, and let someone do something to help you are not only true with dreaded trips to the doctor, dentist or with show animals and shots. We struggle and fight life all of the time. When all is well, we often look for something to stir us up. Many of us seem to be addicted to conflict. The sad thing too is that when we look around us for even a second, we will always find something to stir us up, make us complain, or cause us to talk too much. The enemy makes sure of that and loves it when we struggle!

That is not the only way that we fight through this life. We also fight to fix things that are out of our control. This is my own personal struggle. There is no rest and there is no peace when we are trying to work on something or someone that only the Lord can fix. If we can only keep our eyes on the Lord and our personal relationship with Him, He will guide and direct us when we need to be involved. In the mean time, we better just rest and know He is at work. We can always join in with Jesus in prayer too. That always brings peace to a tough situation and rest to our souls....even when we or our loved ones are knee-deep in conflict. Time on the phone with a friend can help, but only time with the Father can heal.

What is it today that you are fighting with? Is it a person, a part of your past, a habit you are trying to break, a decision you need to make, or a loved one or situation you just can't seem to figure out? Stop fighting with it. Let go! The struggle is over the minute you give it to the Lord. You may only have to "give it" to Him one time or it may be a daily thing you have to do, but you need not fight anymore. When is the last time you wrestled a little one or an animal to give them medicine or pull out a sticker...it is a pretty, funny sight and amazing how strong even a light animal or a little human can be. We look pretty funny too when we fight, fuss, and hold on for too long. I wonder if the Lord sits up in heaven and laughs at how stupid we look when we struggle so much and all along, He must smile knowing that when we give up, He will take over!

I discovered a new song this morning while I was running that really caused me to link all of this together and sit down for a minute at the computer. Someone had changed my settings on my "Shuffle" or whatever it is called and since I am clueless about modern technology, I had to listen to it several times. It so spoke to me! I pray that the words from Psalms 46:10 too meet you where you are today.


"Hush, be still,

Hush, be still,

Hush, be still,

and know I am God.

Rest, be still,

Rest, be still,

Rest, be still

and know I am God.

I am in control

and I am in love with you

so do not be afraid,

right now I am giving you breath,

right now, I am holding you,

oh, please hush, be still,

hush, be still, hush, be still,

and know I am God.

Happy Mother's Day

Mother's Day 2011 has been the best ever! My 7 year old son told me I looked beautiful in the dress I wore to church and lunch. I got a Styrofoam cup full of seeds from my youngest daughter. My nine year old son gave me a mini neck massage when we waited patiently in line at the Outback as his gift. My oldest daughter snuck around in "All Things Write" to buy me a coffee mug. She insisted that I opened it last night so I could use it this morning. It has a verse on it....she said she picked that one because the others had saying like "Hot Stuff" on them and etc. She knew I would like the one with the verse. Perhaps her knowing that in itself is the best gift of all!!! She knows I would rather sip my morning coffee from a cup ordained with the Word than be a HOT STUFF any day....oh, my kids crack me up.

Although today has been a JOY, if we are really honest and take a chance by being REAL, motherhood can be a challenge. It is a challenge! I have been told too that it does not get easier when your kids reach a certain age. I visit with women often who have grown sons and daughters. There concerns for their children are just like mine. Motherhood is a job that does not ever end.

What if we were honest about how we really feel:
I am so tired, just slap worn out, can't go another minute without falling down!
Can I please have a REDO because I just blew it with my kid?
I am so alone in this. I am a single Mom.
I did not sign up for this. The pain and grief I feel in this stage of motherhood are literally unbearable.
Really now, my child just did what?
This is not quite what I had planned.
You mean to tell me that this one little infant can take this much work?
I know I am the mother of a grown up, but he/she is not acting like an adult.
Do I get in the car and go...or sit here and pray?
I can't seem to LET GO! I am holding onto my kindergartner, my child who is about to get married, or even my 40 something kid who is going through a hard time.
Is this my payback from my own childhood and teen years? WOW, I should have listened to my parents....
AND...my personal favorite at the moment, I am such a mess myself that I wonder how I can mother my children?

Right about the time that I want to throw in the towel or hit someone with it who walks by the kitchen sink, The Lord seems to say to me...GOOD! GIVE UP! I never intended for you to do it alone anyway. Let me help.

There is a verse in Mark 6:31 that really sums up to me how He wants to help me with my many duties. Jesus told his disciples to "Come with me by yourself to a quiet place and get some rest." They had been out working so hard, spreading the good news, and they were completely FRAZZLED it seems. Sound familiar? Motherhood is good news and it is the most important job we will ever have, but it also can make us FRAZZLED! I picture myself at times on merry go round that just will not stop until Jesus reaches out and grabs me, pulls me off, and quiets my soul with His gentle, calm hand getting me back on track.

When we spend time with Jesus during prayer time, reading His Word, talking a walk outside, or even just by reciting a verse during the dishes or a diaper change, He DOES SPEAK! He will give you a Word. He will give you a practical word too. It may be spank or hug, forgive or forget, maybe even step back and let me take over. I also know the Lord can speak and say change the schedule, refocus, and REST!

There is not an app on the I PHONE and the latest magazine on the stand at the grocery store will only offer temporary relief or rest. Our only HOPE is in the Word. I asked a few women for a verse that really has stood the test through time that they pray and believe for their children.

Psalms 138:8 says "The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me; your Love, O Lord, endures forever - do not abandon the works of your hands."

Another Mom relies on Proverbs 1:7. It says "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge."

Isaiah 54:13 says "All of your sons will be taught by the Lord and great will be your children's peace."

1 Thessalonians 5:24 reads "The one who calls you is faithful and He will do it."

I started a new journal in 2011 that I am writing verses I come across to pray for my family. That has been the main focus of my time with the Lord. I am praying His Word and trusting in Him to honor His Word. Wow! What a difference it has made. Even when I totally GOOF up and I do so often, His word does not return VOID.

I can not stress enough too that we need to pray the Word OUT LOUD. It is proven that we believe what we hear our own voice say more than anyone else. Instead of me hearing my voice state all of the concerns, gripes, worries, and fears that I sometimes have about my children, I SO desire to hear myself read the Word and speak those Words of life over the lives of my children.

When the Lord give you a word, do not let go of it! Do not let anyone steal it. Do not give up! The devil will try to take it from you. Your own kids may even look at you and behave in a way that can take that word from you, but do not let it go, dear Mother! Stand on it. Believe it! Pray it into their life and trust the Lord to do His work.

What happens when we believe the Word and stand on what the Lord tells us? I go to a conversation that took place between Mary and Elizabeth in Luke 1:45. When Mary and Elizabeth, both expectant mothers, get in the same room, Elizabeth said to Mary "Blessed woman, who believed what God said, believed every word would come true."

As this Mother's Day comes to a close, I just have to ask:
Will we seek the Lord and read His Word?
Will we spend time with Him daily?
Will we get to a quiet place with Him and rest?
Will we claim a verse for ourselves and for our family members?
Will we stand on that word?
Will we refuse to give up?
Will we pray that verse OUT LOUD?
Will we hold onto the promise that we find?
Will be be blessed because we believe the Lord?
Will we believe EVERY word will come true?
Will we allow the Lord through all of this to change us, alter us, mold and make us into the women and mothers He wants us to be?

If my children were surveyed today, they would say that I am the BEST MOM to them because I jump on the trampoline, cook fish sticks really well (as if it is a hard job), help them with the chickens, let them eat on Fridays in the living room, and I on occasion drive through DQ for a Blizzard. I will take those awards with a smile and keep on praying that when asked what matters the most to their Mom...their answer would NOT be softball, baseball, dance, a clean house, clothes, jewelry, a tidy car, or a perfectly planned vacation. I pray they will say what matters the most to my Mom in life is JESUS. Just that one word will do, they can keep it short and sweet... Jesus.

A simple, quick ?

I was just flipping through my Bible, ENJOYING my coffee and saw my own writing beside a verse. I had scribbled "2010, LOVE THIS!" The heart I drew is by Acts 4:13. It says "When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus."


My thought was so simple...Will others look at my life and know that I have been with Jesus?


I have been with him already today. As I stumbled to the kitchen, I prayed for a neighbor with horrible neck pain and headaches. As I poured my coffee, I thought of a friend expecting and in pain way before her due date. I sat on my bed for only a few minutes and read a Psalms and prayed for our day. Now I have the t.v. on Christian music and Chris Tomlin is singing "I will Rise."


I have not been to church. I have not answered one question for my Bible Study. I am not even dressed yet. I have not talked to one person except my husband when he left at 5, but I have been with Jesus. I know my day will be different! It has nothing to do with me. I GOOF up so often, but when I have been with the Father....oh, the day is just different.


I can not and will not "LIVE THIS LIFE" on my own! I can not keep my mouth shut on my own. I will not have patience past 6:00 and I mean a.m. on my own. I will fail everytime if I have not been with Jesus.


How simple is this? Why do we turn on the news in the morning when we could tune into a power that could make us, seemingly ordinary people, full of courage? Others can only see Jesus in us if we have spent time with Him!!! Have you today? If not, adjust your morning plans, change your radio station, and pick up a different book for a change. Adjust the time on the alarm clock! Make it happen. A life of purpose and peace is waiting. He is waiting. No matter what you have done this week, last week, or last year, He is waiting to spend time with you. That thought blows my mind and should yours! This is so simple! Why do we make it so hard?


And...if this all sounds really strange or like something that only "those" people do, try it! Try spending time with Jesus. Just give it a try. What do you have to loose? If you are not in an active relationship with Him, you are missing out. Life makes sense. He changes EVERYTHING!

Which donut do you want?

My family requested donuts this weekend and since I have pretty much banned them on school days and opted for more protein, I granted their request and bought an assorted dozen. Amazingly enough, there were 4 remaining last night. I spotted my fancy cake dome on the bar and decided to put the last 4 in there on display to motivate my crew this morning to rise and shine. There were 2 glazed, 1 blueberry, and one chocolate covered glazed. As I walked through rooms and turned on lights today, I quietly said just loud enough so that my sleepy heads could hear, "The first dressed and at the table gets first choice of the left-over donuts." I knew that would work! Heads raised, arms stretched, and all four of my kiddos were looking for clothes pretty quickly. I prayed as I walked out of the last room to myself that the fact there was an assortment remaining would not cause a war on a Monday morning. That would be no way to start the week or the day for that matter.


Banner, the oldest, was first as usual. Brazos, 2nd in birth order, was 2nd and made his pick. I commented to myself...no conflicts yet and walked back down the hallway to check on Blaise and Bosque. By the time I was back in the kitchen, the younger two were standing at the side of the bar by the cake stand looking at the 2 remaining donuts. One was glazed and one was chocolate glazed. I heard the most amazing thing as I walked towards the kitchen. Bosque, my 7 year old, said "Blaise, which one do you want?" She looked up at him, smiled, and pointed to her choice. I froze because I did not want them to see me yet and I had to take it all in! Big brother reached up and handed her the donut of her choice, took his, and they walked over to the table.


I was amazed! It was one of those little moments in life that is really BIG and not a little moment at all! I used verbal praise well that I was taught in my education courses at UTA to acknowledge his sweetness and added in that Bosque had a heart like the Lord wanted him to have at that moment. (I stress at that moment and this is not to make my son out to be an angel!!! Only a short time later in the bathroom he said he did not like me because I messed up his perfect hairdo with my hand trying to smooth it out a bit.)


I live for these moments in motherhood and in life! I really do. These times are bigger and better than any dream destination vacation and piece of jewelry that could ever be bought for me. These moments with my kids way top the new Old Gringo boots I bought and adore a million times! These moments in life can not be bought, planned, or created on our own!


In a little book on JOY I have been reading there is a quote by Rick Warren that says "Your were made by God and for God - and until you understand that, life will not make sense." Really nothing about our lives is about us. We will only be happy when we put others before us. My son did that. You should have seen the smile on his face when he asked her which donut she wanted. He made her day and he liked it! I too know I am the most happy and content when I put others before me. Why we slip into modes of "SELF" I do not know because it always ends in defeat, sadness, and even depression.


Jesus Christ lived to serve us, died for us, and did it all without thinking about Himself, what He deserved, and what was owed to Him. We must prayerfully and obediently follow as close as we can in His footsteps. It begins today with not demanding that we have life our way, but looking around us to see who we can bless.


I don't know. Maybe today it will be that you give up your favorite donut, let the person in the line at the store go in front of you, or even do the dishes again even if it is not your turn...and with a smile!

Rick Warren begins his book "The Purpose Driven Life" with this simple line "It is not about you." To me that statement reveals more than anything why most people are miserable! We will never be satisfied and content if we take on the world's view that life is about US and needs to revolve around OUR NEEDS! "Self" will not work and will never produce joy.


The next paragraph in the book goes onto say "The purpose of your life is far greater than your own personal fulfillment, your peace of mind, or even your happiness. It's far greater than your family, your career, or even your wildest dreams and ambitions. If you want to know why you were placed on this planet, you must begin with God. You were born by his purpose and for his purpose."


Bless someone today in your path. Live today with purpose from the Lord by putting others first, and yourself second. Oh, and...My son did not only make his sister's day, but mine too!

It's me or the rooster....

Not to long ago my husband had to make a choice. I would like to believe that it was a quick and easy one. It was going to be ME or the ROOSTER. One of us HAD TO GO! Let me explain. Last summer we got a rooster from a friend to hang out here with our hens and do what roosters do. Oh, and he was quite the rooster! I enjoyed his early morning antics and wake-up calls because I am happiest at that time of day, but must admit that was the only thing that I liked about the beast. He and I just did not not get along. I was afraid of him and he knew it. He had my number! Anytime I was near him, he would fluff up like a man on some serious steroids and charge after me. I would then proceed to run and scream like a little sissy. Again, I fully admit...He had my number!!!


On one particular Thursday morning, I was home alone and went on over to the chicken coop to let our beloved birds free for the day. I hid behind the door, normal routine, until he was out of the house. I held onto my shovel, my chosen weapon, for dear life. He went on out and started strutting around after the poor little hens. I snuck into the chicken house and hurriedly gathered up the eggs. I watched out of the window for him to return like a robber in a bank watching for the police at the door in a total paranoid state. My greatest fear had been that he would trap me in the house and....I don't even know! I bent down to grab the last of the eggs and heard something at the door. At first I thought it must have been my dog, Belle, trying to come in and get her daily dose of fresh protein, but it was not. IT WAS THE ROOSTER and he was in the house with me. I was trapped in the corner and did not have a shovel or anything. I could not call for my husband to come and help me because he was not home. I was alone. It was me and HIM.


My first thought for survival was Belle. She would come and help me. She was near...had to be...I just saw her. I called for her. "Belle, come here, Belle, come here girl." No Belle. This seemed to make the rooster snicker and puff up even more and move my way, inch by inch. I looked around, without moving a muscle to see if there was anything I could use as artillery. There was nothing but the eggs that I had gathered in my hands. I threw one at him and missed. I screamed and yelled at him to get out. I know by this point that my heart rate was off of the charts. I resorted to prayer. I prayed. I thought to myself...Lord, help me. I am not going out like this!!! I stood still and stared at the rooster after my cry and plea for help to the Lord for what seemed like 5 minutes. I bet it was only 1 or 2. Finally...the rooster seemingly laughed at me and my cowardliness in the corner, pivoted around, and left the coop. I tiptoed to the door and peeked out of the window and made a run for it to the house. (I scolded Belle on the way home as I sprinted past her like a speeding bullet because she did not help me.)


After I stopped heaving from the ruckus, I called my husband and had to relive the ordeal like a victim being put on the stand in a packed courtroom. It still raises the hair on my arms even now as I type. I know I could have kicked one time and taken HIM out, but I was afraid I would kick, trip, and fall and then he would have had me down. Instead of ever really fighting back, minus that day using the eggs missiles, I gave into him and my fear. I gave my husband an ultimatium like never before. I simply stated to him. "It is me or the rooster!" I am still here and typing. That should tell you who won. As usual, this whole silly to many, yet serious to me scenario made me think of a Biblical principle. I told Branden "It's me or the rooster." I think the Lord tells us all of the time..."It's me or ________________." You fill in the blank. What comes to mind? Maybe it is a person, habit, addiction, sin, attitude, mood, or even not forgiving someone. What is He telling you today MUST GO? Possibly you can answer that question with...nothing really. There are seasons of life that come when we are walking pretty tight with Jesus and really can't find much that needs to go. That usually comes after a season of serious CLEANING, pruning, etc. I mean where He said "THIS MUST GO" and you submitted, obeyed and acted on it. There is usually a time of rest for a while after that, minus the huge spiritual warfare that then can come from the enemy when we are obedient.


However, most of us can easily identify what needs to go in our life to make us closer to the Lord. We just choose to ignore it and hold onto it for dear life sometimes. Many think that being a Christian means giving up stuff; therefore, living a boring, blah, life. It is quite the contrary! I have often been blown away by how exciting life really is when I am walking closely with the Lord. A friend shared with me today that she had been praying specific scriptures for her husband. One was that the veil would be lifted from his eyes and he would really see himself as the Lord sees him. He told her one day last week that he was on the tractor and to quote him..."It is like a veil has been lifted from my eyes. I see it all now." Is that boring at all? Does a life like that lack excitement? I think not.


This week...do not live any longer with the junk in your life. Get rid of it. There is power in the blood and all sin can be forgiven, any life can be transformed, any relationship can be restored. Jesus came to set the captives free. That is you and I. We do not have to live this life miserable in bondage to sin. If you do know Jesus as your personal Savior, He is probably saying to you right now...."It is me or _______________." Oh, dear friend, He will not leave you if you keep the junk or choose to hold onto the sin, worry, negative attitude, bitterness, etc., but you will miss out on all that He has for you because sin always holds us back. Jesus Christ loves us and only wants what is best for us! Jesus says in John 10:10 "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come so that they may have life, and have it to the full." Who among us would not choose to live and to have a FULL life?


In Romans 6:16-18Paul says "Don't you know that when you offer yourselves to someone to obey him as slaves, you are slaves to the one whom you obey - whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness. But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you wholeheartedly obeyed the form of teaching to which you were entrusted. You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness."


Will we choose to be slaves to sin or be slaves to obedience and a full life today? It all begins with a loving plea from the Lord for your total attention...What will it be for you? Will you choose the Lord in His amazing fullness, love, grace, and JOY, drawing closer to Him by spending time in the Word and in prayer?


Or will you choose _______________________. The choice is yours.


One more thing: This rooster incident had been building and was not an isolated case! I had several run-ins with the cocky beast before. I asked my husband nicely at first if he would consider taking out the rooster, but it was not serious enough yet for that type of action. I often think at first too God asks us nicely if we will STOP, think, and turn back to Him. When we continue on in the wrong direction, He will speak up a bit louder and eventually get to a point that we may hear Him YELLING. That is a good thing because He does not give up on us.

Kaye Arthur says in a Bible study I am doing "Sin will take you further than you ever expected to go. It will keep you longer than you ever intended to stay, and it will cost you more than you ever expected to pay."

Observations from home today

Our lake is lower than ever it seems like.

The trees are budding and I see new green when I look across the pasture.

I needed 2 new tires.

I had the money to pay cash for them.

My daughter has a cough.

2 days ago she also had fever.

Hollywood seems to be winning out in America.

My 9 year old read the Bible out loud to us on the way to school this morning.

A friend's mom had a biopsy today on her breast.

She asked me to pray with her and we did at work... without fear.

I forgot to buy horse food today.

New grass seemed to magically appear.

A computer program not working correctly caused frustration today at work.

The input was saved before the "issue" began.

A dear friend is sick in the hospital.

She has a family around her and knows her Heavenly Father.

My feet hurt from my new shoes.

My Aunt Ginger gave them to me and they are cute!

So many families are hurting because of cancer.

The Holy Spirit reminded me to pray for them today.

One of our prized guineas was left out of the coop last week and ran into a raccoon in the night...you know, lots of feathers around and one less guinea.

My purple martins are moving back into their summer home and I can hear them singing all day.

I noticed there are so many tacky songs on the radio.

I ran and listened to Chris Tomlin.

A friend made a long trip last Sunday to see a man she knows and loves dealing with cancer.

She drew closer to God on the way home and thanked Him for her life.

My kids, as usual, got into a little fight right before their Dad walked in the door from work.

As we got out of the car after dinner with friends, my seven year old called each of us by name and said that he loved his family.

I turn on the news or even glance at my Facebook and wonder what is happening all around me with so many hurting and lost.

I make a choice when I wake up my kids in the morning that today I can not control the world or what people around me may do or say, but I can control my attitude and the environment that I create here in my own home.


Life really all depends on perspective.
A "no" from God is always really a "yes" in time.
Keep on looking for blessings this week!
Start a journal.
Write them down.
Make it an intentional choice to notice what is going right in your life.

Get rid of The Gingerbread Man!!!

When it is time for a game around here, my first pick is always Yahtzee...yet we so seldom play it because I tend to go with the flow and wear my usual "peace-maker shoes" well. I remember my first introduction to Yahtzee was on a Fairfield Lake trip with my friend Trudi. We played Yahtzee all day with her family inside of their camper...great fun! I have been stuck on it since then, but now no matter what I might choose, we seem to go for UNO or Candy Land. (I must add in here that UNO with Banner, my oldest daughter, on her I-Pad is really enjoyable and makes her think I am up with modern technology because I actually can play it with her and press the right things!)

When we rediscovered Candy Land again this winter from the top shelf on my boy's closet, it was like finding an old friend again on Facebook. The colorful box had been tucked away with the mismatched sets of Lego's, John Deere tractors, and a variety of miscellaneous junk. The first day we played we were all very successful. We must have had 5 or 6 winners in a very short time span of only an hour or so. We drew mostly colored cards, avoided the licorice spots that make you get stuck and never happened to pick up the card that had the Gingerbread Man on it. Drawing the Gingerbread Man is the worst luck of all because it automatically takes you back to the beginning of the game board and makes you start all over. It trumps even "Go to Jail" in Monopoly and is quite heartbreaking for children and competitive adults.

That did not happen on this particular day. After several more games in a row with no Gingerbread man appearing, I made an innocent comment that I was really surprised nobody had drawn "him" yet. We played a few more rounds and kept on moving and grooving at record speed down the candy-colored maze.

When we were putting the game back in the box, I stacked the cards up and commented innocently AGAIN that Mr. Gingerbread must have been missing. Much to my surprise, my youngest daughter, Blaise, got a gigantic grin on her little face. Her eyes seemed to light up like she was "in" on something big or maybe even guilty of something big! She reached down under the box and pulled out a card! She had hidden the Gingerbread Man. No wonder we had not been a victim of his misfortune. He had been conveniently left out the game all together! Blaise said with a mischievous grin when she realized that I realized what she had plotted, "I can't stand that Gingerbread Man, so I am not playing with him. I took him OUT!" Her brother Bosque fell on the floor laughing. He was in awe of her determination to win!

I laughed as I put the rest of the game back in the box and thought about how Blaise was pretty smart...and tricky...and a bit of a cheat! She decided she did not want to play with such a nuisance as Mr. Gingerbread; therefore, she took it upon herself to REMOVE HIM! I explained to her that really if we want to play the game correctly, we just can't take a card out of the game and change the rules. We had to take the good with the bad.

It hit me like a ton of bricks that as adults we often want to "remove" people from our lives. In Candy Land talk, a few co-workers, teammates, friends, and even family members might end up hidden under the box and eliminated from our paths totally if we had the choice. Maybe we just do not like the individual, but often the reason we are annoyed by certain individuals is because their personalities differ greatly from ours. We just don't understand how they can think they way they do, say the things they say, or even behave and react to situations in such a different way than we do. The old saying "She/He just rubs me the wrong way" comes to life with these people we encounter!

I read years ago in a devotional book that the Lord will keep on putting people with the same annoying characteristics in your path until you develop the patience and necessary "Fruit of the Spirit" to deal with them. Funny...we can change jobs and move half way across the country and still find our desk next to someone who "irks" us like noboby's business. Not a coincidence that just about the time the annoying neighbor moves and the coast seems clear that someone else pops up and seems to have the same personality of the one who was just driving you insane. The same personalities will pop up again and again until we develop the grace to love them and deal with them, just as Jesus Christ deals with us and loves us!

Several books have really opened my eyes recently and helped me understand and appreciate personality types. I have a new and improved view of my husband and my own children especially. Since a book study last year in my Sunday School Class, I have told everyone I know just about to read "Personality Plus" by Marita Littauer. It goes right along with "Two Sides of Love" by Gary Smalley and John Trent. I believe the solid Biblical point of views presented in these books could help save relationships. It is POSSIBLE to appreciate how we are all different and utilize each other's strengths instead of despising them. I am amazed here at home how a Saturday spent working outside all day long with no breaks is the best to my son Brazos. His little brother Bosque thinks that a Saturday spent on the couch is second to none. I see it all the time here; we are all wired differently! It makes life more fun.

There are so many verses that cover this in the Bible and quite honestly cut us to the core when we decide to write someone off because they are just too different from us or simply because we do not care for them. The Word tells us that we will eventually distance ourselves from the Lord when we keep on distancing ourselves from certain people. It takes "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" to a whole new level.

James 3:9 says "With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praising and cursing. This should not be!" (OUCH... is the word here that comes to mind!)

Back in 2002 in my Bible, I marked Luke 6:41. It says "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?"

1 John 4:11 says "Dear friends, if God loved us in this way, we also must love one another."

How is this possible to live out this kind of love? Is there a simple formula to make it happen or a button we can push daily when we wake up to help us all get along? A starting point for us is summed up totally in the example that Jesus sat for us in Mark 6:31. Jesus tells the apostles the words that I believe He still speaks to us all today. "Come with me by yourself to a quiet place and get some rest." When we get alone with Jesus Christ daily, we can get along with others in our life.

The word rest too is essential in our modern world. Rest to me means that we take a nap every now and then and get to bed at night at a decent time. It also means that we are not trying to live a life with good works, but resting knowing that the work of our salvation is free with grace. We do not have to do everything! We must do what we are called to do well!

Rest also comes with knowing that the Lord is in control. There is a peace that comes with that kind of rest. We do not have to control the world around us and work to manipulate situations because God is at work! He can work more when we stay out of the way and REST. With that comes less frustration and stress. Then we can get along with others and begin to love like the Bible instructs us to do. Simply saying "I don't care for her or he drives me crazy" really does not work in the Kingdom of God. Life is not a game of Candy Land and unlike with Mr. Gingerbread Man, we often just can not get rid of people, but must find a way to get along!

If this all sounds impossible,

try Mark 6:31 first and see where the Word leads you today.

Taylor Swift and Sweeping

My daughter, Blaise, grabbed the broom from me this morning because she wanted to help me sweep. Before too long she was going around our high-traffic area by the table and must have decided she needed some music to keep her motivated. Did I say "high traffic area" when I really should have said pitifully dirty area by our table? After a few minutes of work, she put down the broom for a minute and ran over to press play on her Taylor Swift c.d. that seems to forever be in the stereo and drives her older brother, Bosque crazy. I was washing dishes at the sink, but could see her every move and hear her singing as she pranced back to her work zone. She picked the broom and got back to work without even looking my way! She was enjoying herself to say the least. She was working hard and singing like she was in a video. Blaise swept up every crumb and created several piles.

Honestly, I could not keep my eyes off of her because the whole scene was just too cute! My soapy water in the sink could have quickly run over and turned into a sudsy river on the floor and I would not even have known it. I was looking up at her! She finally realized that I was watching her and began looking up at me too every few seconds too. We would smile simultaneously at each other and then both look back down and resume our domestic duties. We did this several times and then it turned into a big joke. After a few times of her glancing up and seeing my eyes still on her, she was all giggles and I was not far behind her. She finally said in a super dramatic voice, "Mom, every time I look up, you are still looking at me!" Simply put...I just could not stop watching her and was caught up in the moment of it all!

I thought...ok, me keeping my eyes locked on Blaise must be like how Jesus Christ keeps his eyes on me and for that matter, all of His children. Anytime we look His way, His eyes are on us. He must smile too and even laugh when we choose to pause in our busy day and look His way. He always promises to catch our glance whether we look His way for a meaningful, long stare or just a passing look and provides us with what we need for that minute in time! This is why He is Sovereign and Omnipresent. He can see it all and do it all at the same time! He can keep His eyes on you, me, the whole world. That just blows my mind and yes, just like this morning with Blaise, it makes me smile and gives me total peace when I think about the times that I seem to have "locked eyes" with the Lord!

My path last week crossed a woman's path who is only 28 years old and is battling breast cancer. If I am honest here, I wondered how I would feel after meeting her as I walked into her office because I had no idea what to expect. Would the reality bring it all back to me? Would I feel sorry for her and desperate to help her, or even feel a bit down? After we visited and I walked out of her office, I was totally amazed because I did not feel down. Karen lifted me! She made me smile! I could see Jesus all over her. She is looking to the medical field to help her, but more than that, she is looking to the Lord for her healing.

I pray Karen does not take her eyes off of the Lord for even a split second. In the midst of our greatest trials, we must look to Him and don't dare look away! I claim to know very little in all reality, but I know that to be 100% true. In some strange way that is hard to explain, in the scariest, darkest, most challenging times of life, whether it be a cure rate, a financial plan gone wrong, or news of a a love one in trouble, there is NOTHING that can compare to looking to Christ and knowing without a doubt His eyes are on you!

There is word in 2 Corinthians 4:8-9 that says "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." How can this be possible? We can face persecution head-on and not be abandoned. Likewise, the fiercest blows in life need not end in destruction if we are children of the Most High. We will face trials; however, we will not face them alone.

Another passage at the end of 2 Corinthians 4 seems to offer a plan for this type of life. It says "Therefore, we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

If we fix our eyes on the Lord by reading His Word, knowing Him as our Savior, and communicating with Him, our eyes will be fixed on the only thing, the only One who can get us past the temporary trial. We also have to keep in mind that everything here in this life is temporary and our real eternity will be spent in heaven.

What happens if we look away, allow sin to get in the way of our view, or just get so busy that we forget to look? He will forgive us. The really special part of a relationship with Jesus too is that when we finally look His way again, we will discover that He never took His eyes off of us. So, today fix your eyes on the only thing that matters.