Tug of War

A conversation came up in Sunday School the past week that took me SO back to my middle school days. Every spring at Dogan Middle School here in Fairfield we would have field day. It was a really big deal. It was a taste of real competition and of the athletics that we all so looked forward to when we finally would one day make it to Jr. High.

Teachers usually picked and signed us up for our events. We had a little bit of input, but not much. I can still tell you the names of the 50 yard dash participants and I was not, still would not be, one of them! I was just not a DASHER! The 50 yard seemed to be the heart of the individual competitions. Everyone earned a green ribbon for participation, but the top 3 rankings were awarded with a blue, red, or white ribbon. This was BIG TIME to us all.

If my memory serves me well, you could usually count on Rebecca Titus for the girls in the top place. My friend Trudi usually got a taste of the action too along with John, David, and Micheal. Too funny! (Enough of that and onto the next event.) Well, somewhere in the middle of the sack race and the softball throw was the much anticipated class TUG OF WAR. This was a chance for everyone to participate and feel like they were a part of the glory. I had a special spot here in this event. I was usually one of the anchor girls!!! There was usually a guy at the back of each class who would lasso the rope around his waist. I was usually close to his side because I was one of the stronger girls. Call it strong, thick, whatever you want to call it, but I was towards the back of the class on this race. Enough said about that too.

When the coach or teacher in charge blew the whistle, we all had to pull and I mean pull! I have never pulled and tugged so hard my whole life as I did at Dogan back in the day. This was my time to shine! We used the old -school kind of rope too. It would TEAR YOU UP! Our hands were so injured at the end of the contest that we should have been excused for handwriting for the rest of the week.

We tugged and pulled, and cheered so hard to make our ribbon cross the line first so we could win. The other team on the other end of the rope did the same thing. It was such a challenge and so much work to hold on, keep steady, and pull back that I feel exhausted just thinking about it as I type. My hands hurt too now that I think back! We pulled back...inched up...held on....could not dare let go...hands burned...pulled more....inched back up....heck if I know or remember who ever won, but I know that tug of war was so painful and the most tiring event of the day! It wore me slap out, but it something we all just had to be in! Win or loose too now that I think about it, we were usually just glad for it to be OVER!

We covered "Secret Places" last week in Sunday School and this analogy came so clear to me! Beth Moore writes "Love springs from trust. Therefore, loving God with all my mind begins with trusting God with all my mind. It means asking God to come into secret places where I may harbor or practice sin. It means trusting that He's not going to reject me or forsake me or be totally disgusted with me. He already knows and He wants in. He will not clean it our with a big yard blower from the outside. He cleans up the mind from the inside only."

Why do we try to hold on to the negativity that may be living and breathing in our minds and hide it from God? It does not work. My kids love and song that says "He knows my name." Oh, what a GREAT thought that is. The Lord knows us and loves us. He knows me and He knows my name! The next line of the song says "He knows my every thought." Wow, that one for me is a little bit different and harder to take, but it is true. He does know my EVERY thought!

One of my darling children last week tried, and I stress the TRIED, to tell me a lie. The lie was a little one over 3 quarters that had been exchanged, shared, and then pocketed at the vending machine after school. I knew that he/she was lieing to me and all I wanted was the truth! I waited until I got the truth and then was satisfied, fine, happy, and ready to go on with our day. It was so silly! It was a stupid conversation that we were having, but I could not let it go because again...I wanted to hear the truth! I felt like I was tugging and pulling out all of the facts until I got what I wanted. It was exhausting...just like the tug of war match years ago at Dogan.

Putting it all together now, I realize that Jesus Christ has got to be just like I was that day with my child. He must think at times when He looks at me....Why would she be so silly to hold onto this? Who does she think she is fooling? All along He just wants me to talk to Him and be honest about what I think and feel!

He will forgive us and then help us with the rest of our day when we just open up and talk to Him. It is all about a relationship! He knows if we are mad and bitter about something that happened many years ago or even yesterday. He knows if we secretly lust after someone or something. He knows it all and we will not have peace until we openly share that with Him and move on. He knows when our thoughts are honest and pure and knows when they are a mess!

Where does the tug of war come back in? Well, it is so much work to hold onto something. You go back and forth by rationalizing and making excuses for yourself and for the way you feel. You even convince yourself that you deserve to carry around the secret feelings you do because someone or something has wronged you. Life does not have to be enhausting. Life does not have to be a battle where you feel like you are being pulled back and forth constantly. Life does not have to be lived with one foot on each side of the fence. Life does not have to hurt all of the time and wear you out! There has to be more. We are not promised a perfect life and for it to be free of trials, but secret places that we set up are not trials! Trials come from the Lord to make us stronger. Secret places come from us and from our own flesh.

Let go today and stop the fight. Stop holding on and thinking that if you hold on tight enough and work hard enough that you can fool the Lord. There is no fooling Him. A plan of action could be some time in Psalms 139 or even this: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength" from Chapter 12 in Mark. Meditate on the part with all of your MIND and be honest with the Father about what may be going on in there.