Me!

“This is my story, this is my song” is one of my favorite lyrics from the hymn “Blessed Assurance.” I have mentioned it before, probably once a year, since I started this journey of writing a column.  It takes me back to Caney Baptist with my Pappaw, and also the fact that I believe we all have a story, a song, a purpose.  My story began in Fairfield, TX back in 1973.  More importantly though – it really started when I discovered that God had plans for me. 

It would be more of a “hook” to say my assignment on earth was still some unknown mystery.   However, I vividly recall when I discovered why God put me here. I am a “kid” person.  Don’t get me wrong, I love adults.  I visited with one girlfriend on the road last night for over an hour.  The random, adult conversations that take place daily in my library keep me going.  We laugh and cry on nearly a daily basis. 

I obviously love adult company, but even the grownups in my life know and fully accept the fact that I really prefer the company of little people!  Kids follow me around like little ducks all in a line, without me even trying. I entertain them without even trying!  A month or so ago, I was sitting by a fire pit and enjoying adult conversation, but found my way indoors and helped a group of precious young girls build the tent of all tents.  My friend probably cursed me the next morning when she had to clean it all up!  We used ponytails, rubber bands, and anything we could possible find to create their royal palace!   

I first knew kids were a key part of my identity, my salvation, and my reason to keep on getting up in the morning at Agnew Middle School in Mesquite, Texas.  Those 7^th graders changed my life. I taught them literature, grammar, reading, and writing, but they taught me a lot more.  I discovered I was needed, and that I had a reason to be on this earth.  When the old Agnew was torn down and the new one was built, I moved in.  That was also the year I invited Jesus into my heart.  If I remember correctly, it was my third period who ministered to me in a huge way.  That class roll included Levi, Francheska, Jennifer Williams, and the Bouyer twins. They introduced me to Kirk Franklin too.  By that point, I was a mother of two as well. 

Fast-forward many years, and I still credit my students and my own crew for keeping me going!  Last week, one of my precious first graders dug deep into her pocket and said she had something to give me.  It looked like a piece of thread, but after closer examination and listening to her explanation, it was a flower.  It was more brown than yellow, dried up than flourishing, but I loved it and knew what she meant.  She absolutely made my day, my week!  Even though I claim to know my purpose here on earth, so much is still unknown to me and my life is definitely full of struggles, ups and downs. 

Ask the Lord this week why you are here.  We all have significant roles and a job in the Kingdom.  When you find yourself in doubt, read Romans 8:28 out loud “We know that in all things God works for good with those who love him, those whom he has called according to his purposes.” 

My birthday

I strongly suspect we all have a public and a somewhat private life.  Our public life comprises of how we behave when we work, attend events around town, and run errands.  Privately too, we all have our own dislikes, likes, hobbies, and things that nobody has a clue about or really cares about.

For example, I love sunshine.  It makes me smile.  It surprises me that I lived in England for nine months.  It is gray – much like Seattle.  I walked to and from school.  My afternoon cup of hot tea was the best. I missed my Texas sunshine, but enjoyed being fully submerged in another culture and scurrying around London. 

I also love purple martins.  A few scouts showed up this week.  I talked to them.  I am a full-blown “bird nerd.”  Nobody may care, but it fits where I am going with my column this week.

Likewise, only a few people know that I am not a fan of my birthday.  It was last week.  I turned forty-six.  Never have I been able to put my finger on the exact source of my mood or my disapproval.

My kids know, and they often avoid me.  Luckily, I do know it has nothing to do with my age. I feel better in my mid-forties than I did in my mid-twenties.  Age has served me well!  The lessons I learned along the way have served me well too. I am who I am. The way I see the world and treat the world is a direct result of my experiences here on earth. I am thankful!

My birthday, February 15^th, this year was remarkably different.  Celebrations began on Valentine’s Day.  Before 8:00 that morning, I knew something was up!  Kids coming down the hallway were saying “Happy Birthday.”  I got the most sincere hugs and smiles ever.

When an entire Pre-K class paused in front of the library and sang to me, I knew it was public knowledge!  Mrs. Ransom announces birthdays in the morning meeting.  Since we were out of school on my actual birthday, Thursday was my day!

Shockingly, I was happy about my special day, although it was still one day away. Each and every student who wished me “Happy Birthday” changed the way I felt about my often “melancholy” day. 

When my oldest came home from college on Friday at noon, she was surprised to find me in good spirits. I embraced my gifts and even “milked” my day the whole weekend.  I got laundry out of my kids, dishes, trash, and even a few errands by claiming it was my birthday!   

Remarkably too, my day was sunny.  I spent the entire afternoon in shorts and a tank top on my back porch.  Who would think that February 15^th could be so warm?  I sat in the sun and smiled, thinking God warmed up the earth just for me.  Is that possible?  I think so.

I vividly remember the first time my husband and I had three sporting events to attend at the same time, in different locations.  One remarkably got canceled.  I knew that was just for us!  We were not accustomed yet to missing anything with our crew.

Hebrews 13:5 says “I will never leave you, nor forsake you.”  That promise is true!  It amazingly includes an all-encompassing love that encompasses the big stuff and the little stuff in life, our public and our private!   It is precious!  Embrace it.  Rest in it this week.   Know you are loved and known fully by the King of Kings, the Lord or Lords. 

My cleaning routines...BAD!

The guests who frequent our house these days will laugh at this statement, might fall in the floor, or flat out call me a liar! I was once an obsessive housekeeper.  When we lived in Dallas, Thursday meant cleaning day.  Our house looked absolutely precious and spotless at all times!  Now, the closets were stuffed full and cabinets were never in excellent order, but everything looked fabulous!

I must confess though, my obsession caused my first motherhood fail.   My oldest rolled out of a chair when she was only a month old; when I ran to the back of the house to get my “Swifter” mop. Oh, I cried and cried!  I questioned my ability to parent; however, parenting was not the real issue. The real problem stemmed from my tidy house obsession.

When we moved to the country, I miraculously kept up the pace!  It took the dust a year or so to settle down, although my husband quickly planted grass seed.  He watered and nurtured it day after day, year after year. Thanks to him, eventually the dirt subsided and the Bermuda took over.

However, kids romping meant there was always a thin layer of grime. So, I dusted, cleaned, hired help, and went through two robot vacuum cleaners in no time at all. When we were outside or not home, my robot friend was working.  Sadly, Roomba was a new invention at the time and not durable enough for the workload she battled here. I gave up and went back to my traditional vacuum, because the show had to go on!   

What happened?  Something sure did!  One of my daughter’s friends recently asked if I even owned a vacuum.  I can go to bed with dishes in my sink and leave for an entire weekend without my chores complete.  The change was gradual…one woman in particular shared her housework battle with us in a Bible Study. She called it a spiritual stronghold.  From studying Beth Moore’s “Breaking Free,” I knew that meant big business.  She also had a large family.  The Lord revealed to her that her attitude/obsession with her house was sin. Her words woke me up!  

Khris Roller opened my eyes to my own priority problem, and then cancer kept them wide open.  I never viewed laundry again as an immediate need. I learned it could wait if there was someone who needed my attention.  The Lord healed me of cancer, but also of much more during that season of life. Sadly, I have forgotten some of the lessons I learned, allowed junk to creep back in.  Life sure is a process and a daily battle of obedience and staying in the Word. 

Where am I going with this “Good Housekeeping” saga? Well, I broke down for my birthday and ordered a new robot vacuum!  After hours of research and using my parent’s robot for a trial run, I proudly submitted my online purchase.  I love my new friend.

Now, do not get me wrong! Dishes are currently overflowing from my sink and my windows are a travesty. My only obsession for at least the next four years around here will be my family!  However, my robot vacuum is truly awesome! 

You might say I came full circle with this deal and learned lots of lessons along the way.  Life is all about successes and failures, tests and testimonies, messes and messages.  Thankfully, we are never alone.   We can walk and talk with Jesus every step of the way.   Psalm 118:14 says “The Lord is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation.”  Have a blessed week and remember the Lord is with you. 

Spring Break 2019

Day two of Spring Break – I feel extremely pleased to announce that the meteorologists were wrong!   I am currently perched on our front porch, enjoying partly, and cloudy skies with peaks of beautiful sunshine.  Since we are not traveling, the local weather is a big deal!  The rain may come tomorrow, but I am thankful for two days of spring.

Spring Break equals low-key for us.  The only tradition we ever formed was an afternoon at White Rock with the Dallas Monicos.  To say it was the best of times is an understatement.  We loaded up Bear’s van with bikes, tricycles, a cooler full of drinks, and our blankets to spread on the hill of our favorite area of the lake.

The day simply meant…kids zooming past on bikes, sitting, and visiting.  We often spotted the SMU rowing team gracefully out on the water. Families BBQ, feed the ducks, and play on the playground. 

Laughter, fussing, and a multitude of languages filled the air. Thankfully, I have no regrets.  I knew these times were to be treasured.  I snapped pictures to prove it.  I predict myself tonight digging through old scrapbooks and boxes. 

The ice cream man pulling up attested to be the highlight of the day.  He was typically on the phone, never made eye contact, but managed to get the orders right and collect his money.  After the line subsided, he cranked his music back up and drove off.

If the stars line up and Bear is off tomorrow, we are headed north to recreate it all.    Monday is the only day all four kids are free.  We will see!  If not, seasons change and we know to embrace them all! 

What else?  Little sister and I sunbathed.  Husband sprayed weeds.  I weeded our garden and swept the carport.  The flowerbeds are next on my list.  If and when it starts raining, I will move in.  Until then - I am happy and outside.

Eyes have rolled, but I have told the kids that the butterflies are out, the grass is green, and that the birds are singing. My purple martins always serenade me.  Today while laying “out” with Blaise, there were so many birds singing that I had to focus on what was what, who was who. 

I know for sure that over to our left was a Mockingbird!  Mockingbirds are quite fascinating.  They mimic other birds, sounds, and even humans. 

My conclusion…humans behave a lot like Mockingbirds.  I worked at the Outback Steakhouse for years and spoke “restaurant” talk.  Thank the Lord, I cleaned up that talk and learned to communicate properly at Agnew Middle School in Mesquite.  Next was baby talk and toddler talk! 

Fast-forward to big kids, four teens.  We talk differently now.  That is a good and a bad thing. I was convicted today that I must be intentional with my words and my actions!

Honestly, our talk at home is often negative; consequently, my goal for the week is to be positive, give God praise, to speak Words of Life, and to offer thanksgiving in the name of Jesus! 

When I return to school, I must do the same. When my kids return to school, I must remind them to do the same!

We can’t change much in our world, but we can obviously monitor and consciously choose our own words and actions.   Join me this week and speak Words of Life!    Psalms 19:14 says “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight.” 

The FLU

Tomorrow we re-enter the world after our “flucation.”  Our district made a wise call and cancelled school last Thursday and Friday.  The extra-long weekend lasted forever!  Even though the Super Bowl is blaring, I will soon turn into crazy momma and make everyone find their necessities. 

Thankfully, the flu only marked its territory on one member of our family; however, I witnessed kids and staff drop like flies.  My youngest, Blaise, called me last Monday after lunch.  I picked her up, and she has yet to return to school.  Years ago, my girls both suffered from the flu at the same time.  They moaned, groaned, and claimed that their feet hurt.

Last week’s episode proved to be much less severe!  Sister felt bad, but was not totally down for the count.  I managed to work and check on her throughout the day.  By day four though, she was very melancholy!  I tried to make her laugh and failed.  I tried to make her smile and failed.  I did succeed in making her leave her room daily and moving into the living room. 

Even when she physically regained strength, she still faced a mental battle from being home for so long.  Bless her heart…the highlight of her day was when her big brothers arrived home after baseball and shared their stories. 

An unexpected visit from her best friend late Thursday afternoon saved her!  She immediately came to life!  Her coloring looked rosy, her voice changed, and she was moving around!  I witnessed the whole scene and teared up.  Happy tears fell down my cheeks because I was reminded how special friends are!  This particular, spontaneous visit proved to be a game-changer!  You might call these two “kindred spirits.” 

Thanks to the unanticipated holiday, they traveled to Abilene the next morning for a weekend of softball.  Banner, the oldest of our crew, attends Hardin-Simmons.  She was born independent and possessed leadership skills from a young age.  Since she moved into her dorm, there has been little to none homesickness.  If I had to guess what she misses the most, I would say Blaise and Paige.  Her little sister and her BFF were her running buddies.   Again, I witnessed a wonderful example of kindred spirits when they approached the HSU bullpen and leaned on the chain-link fence to visit with her. 

The Lord has blessed me abundantly with wonderful friends.  From my childhood playmates to my current co-workers, and everything in between-I too experience all of the major ups and downs of life with the support of friends who support me.  I purchased two of my favorite necklaces last week from Juls by Juls – one of my golden friends.  This particular necklace simply says “Blessed.”  I bought it in gold and silver. 

I made a new friend in the Abilene mall, Glory.  She was working in one of the kiosks.  I know without a doubt we were meant to meet.  We talked religion and our favorite places in the world effortlessly.  God prompted me to give her the “Blessed” necklace I was wearing.  All of a sudden, I remembered I had the silver one in my purse too.  We could match!  I gave her the silver necklace.  She cried. I probably will never see Glory again, but I know we met for a reason.  We are kindred spirits. 

It all boils down to Luke 6:31 “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”  How great would life be if we all lived out this verse? Although we will never be perfect, join me this week and give it a try!

Going to Dew, Texas

Not often at the age of 45 do I experience new things.  Most of life falls into the category of “Been there, done that, and I own a t-shirt or two to prove it. “  Last week, I had a heart to heart with a beloved co-worker about how we somewhat fear new things and are guilty of only doing what we know we can do well.  Even with parenting, seldom do I encounter new issues.

However, last week I experienced several firsts.   I attended my first power lifting meet.  You would think with four, athletic, and active kids, I would have done it all, but that is not true.  I ventured to Bosqueville alone to my first ever power lifting meet.  I felt nervous, but luckily found myself a great spot to stand in the corner by my son’s station.  I gave up biting my nails in Jr. High School, but did pick at my cuticles and fidget from time to time when it was his turn to lift.  At the end of the day, I concluded I loved the sport and was thankful that I saw something new! 

My other new occurrence last week was attending a sporting event in Dew. For my non-local readers, Dew is a small community ten miles south.  They have a phenomenal school that houses kids until the reach high school.  My nephew played basketball there.  I was free for the evening and ventured out to watch him.  Never had I been to Dew ISD for a sporting event.  I have escorted my kids from state to state, school to school, but never there.

Another unusual for me is watching a series.  It is “Friday Night Lights.” My television hours have been slim to nothing since I started having kids many years ago.  My nights are consumed with homework and beckoning kids to get ready for the next day. 

However, this television show, if you call it that, totally consumes me. I love it!  I identify with it; and promised my daughter I would not watch another episode until she returned home this summer.  I broke that agreement last night. 

Tammy Taylor, the main “mom” character, said something that made me grab my notepad.  I have heard her type of wisdom before, but it seemed somewhat new to my ears!

Tammy said to her daughter “I just want you to have faith, faith in something that will hold you when I won’t be able to hold you anymore.”  Tammy and I are a lot alike.  My daughter’s friends over the years often have asked me if I watched the show and told me I was like her. 

Her words last night resonated clearly with my heart and with my desires for my children regarding faith!  The day will come when I will not hold any of them, but the Lord will.  I so want them to know Him in a personal way! 

Charles Stanley this morning preached about Daniel.  He said “There aren’t any lions in your life that God can’t help you overcome.”  His message reminded me of faith and knowing that God has a plan and always offers us protection when we are obedient.   

Since we did not attend church, I watched another service and made the kids sit down with me.  Bishop T.D. Jakes addressed the power of the mind and the necessity of not worrying about tomorrow.  In Matthew 6:25-34 Jesus gives a powerful word about this.  The birds do not worry!  We are much more meaningful than them.  They are secure.  We must be too!  Join me this week and live with trust in Jesus.   Live in faith! 

Daddy, daughter fiasco

The stretch of precious time between winter and spring just a few years ago meant getting bulbs in the ground, t-ball cleats, and treating one final ear infection. 

Things have changed.  I currently find myself raising money for Project Graduation. Before I blink, we will be thinking prom and 8^th grade dance.  Needless to say, I do not expect any tulips to bloom this year.  That was another season of life, but may return.

The Daddy/Daughter dance, one of the main Project Graduation fundraisers, took place last night.  I joyfully headed it up, but will joyfully let others be in charge of what comes next. 

Luckily, dads and daughters are pretty low maintenance. Decorations were simple and the menu included cookies and pink lemonade.  The “store bought cookies” went just as fast as the homemade ones, and even tied with the Collin Street Bakery assortment. I put eating a Collin Street Bakery cookie on my to-do list, but forgot to go back by!  I walked around mesmerized by the little girls dressed up and having the time of their lives. 

Last night taught me a few lessons too.  The punch table collapsed about an hour into the event.  Our DJ was fabulous.  The dance floor was full!  Everyone was happily entertained when it happened….except for those in line for a drink.   

Guess who set up that table and forgot to secure the legs?  Yours truly! I apologized to our faithful helpers at that station.  Next time - I will double check the tables.  The ladies said nobody got mad or hurt over the ruckus.  It was a quick spill.  However, the clean-up was sticky and not quite so quick. 

This fiasco reminds me a lot of human nature and sin.  We all have “spills” no matter our level of spiritual maturity.  Thankfully though, the Lord promises to clean us up.  There may be consequences or messes to deal with afterwards, but we are absolutely and completely forgiven when we repent and turn back to God. 

Acts 3:19 says “Repent then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.”  Our lemonade table was refreshed and cleaned up. It just took a few minutes.  When we know Jesus as our Savior, dealing with sin is the same. We are able to get cleaned up!

There was an ongoing issue too with the door prizes! We typically ask for goodie bags and randomly draw names. The DJ calls out the winners.  She gets swarmed on stage by a multitude of little girls.  They all look different and are all dressed differently, but all share one thing in common- they desperately want their name called! 

When the final name was announced last night, a sense of disappointment fell on the dancefloor.  My heart broke. I mentally noted to scrap the door prizes! 

I would love to say this specific group is the only one who wants to be called out, the only one desiring to feel like they are chosen and special.  I know that is not true! 

We all do.  Whether we are male, female, old, young, working in a factory, an office, or even sitting in a desk at school-we all long to feel like we are one of the chosen!  We all want our name called!   

Sadly, we cannot guarantee this type of recognition will ever take place on earth. Our only hope and absolute security is with Jesus. 

Isaiah 43:1 says “Fear not, for I have redeemed you, I have called you by name, and you are mine.” Rest in the security of that this week!