What now?

This is the last afternoon of our wonderful Thanksgiving break at home.  Actually, that is a lie.  Every minute of life here is not wonderful!   I cannot say we really fight, but we spat, stress each other out, and sometimes spontaneously leave the room to escape to find our own peace.

Even with the ups and downs that come naturally with family dynamics, I have enjoyed my time at home. Thankfully too, our house is decorated for Christmas.  My laundry is nearly finished, and we have left-overs in the fridge to get us by until Wednesday.  I like being here to casually entertain whoever shows up.  I stress the word casually, because nothing here is fancy.  My expectations of “home” sure have changed over the years. 

When we only had two kids and lived in Dallas, I was a slave to my home.  I still am, but in a very different way.  Back in the day, my floors were spotless!  My pillows were fluffed and furniture was dusted.  Sadly though, I wasted time trying to make stuff look good, marking everything off of my to-do list, and being busy!  Currently, I just cook whatever I can find and line up paper plates on the bar for kids to eat and enjoy. 

If there is one thing I regret as an older mother, it is not spending enough time with my kids when they were younger. My priorities were a mess!   I wanted a perfect home!    Dishes in the sink and toys not picked up sent me over the edge. 

In an odd way and addressing the topic again, cancer was good for me.  It taught me that life boils down to people.  When I take my last breath, I will not think…are the beds made?  I will ask…who is here with me and who is going to meet me one day in heaven?

Why such a serious topic this week?  I could have chosen leaves falling or thankfulness; however, a season has ended for us, another one begins tomorrow. 

Thanksgiving Break will abruptly come to an end at 6:30 in the morning when my alarm clock goes off.  We need to get back on task with schoolwork, working out, eating well, and going to bed at a decent time.  I also have one or two topics I need to address specifically with my kids.  I need to “reel” them back in – and myself!   The past two weeks have been nothing but Eagle football, holiday festivities, and fun.

I love football and specifically my boys playing football.  Thursday and Friday nights since late August have been consumed by it.  So many of “my people” are involved.  I love our band, they are the heartbeat of Friday nights.  I love the cheerleaders, parents, grandparents, my elementary principal showing up, our coaches, their families, the volunteers who make sure the flags are flying in town and that the hot dogs are ready.

Friday was the last game of our season.  It left me with the thought:  What now?  It forced me to think… what needs to happen next with me personally and with my family?  Before I could think forwardly, I looked back.  That took me to back to the old days of trying to keep my house perfect and sweating the small stuff, like I mentioned.  I thank God that is over! 

What is next?  Psalm 37 is one of my favs.  It says “Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness.  Delight yourself in the LORD; and He will give you the desires of your heart.”  I am starting there this week. Join me please.