Saturday night I passed my son and his buddy some dinner
across the bar from my usual spot by the sink.
It was a thrown together meal, but I added some pizazz and a smile as I
served it.
My son asked me a question.
He said “Mom, how are you so positive all of the time?” His friend said “Yeah, how are you?”
I told them first of all I lost my Mom when I was young and
that makes me appreciate the fact that I get to be a mother. I am happy when I am woken up at night
because of a nightmare or asked to fix another bowl of cereal because honestly,
I am glad to be alive and to see my kids grow up.
The second reason I gave them was cancer. I got out “the” picture to show Tyler. It is
of me bald, gray, and so sick looking that you cannot even really tell it is
me. My eyes were not even
recognizable. Six months of chemotherapy
and radiation did me in, but cancer taught me a lot.
Cancer taught me the word NO, because being too busy robbed
me of my joy. Cancer taught me to leave
the dishes and go outside to play. I
even leave them until the next morning now.
I am staring at a sink full as I type.
They will get done!
Cancer taught me to only focus on the day ahead of me and
not to stress about the future. So many
times over the years, things have been cancelled or rearranged fixing the
problem we thought we had before it even arrived. The LORD takes care of the details. I live in a 24 hour mindset. Proverbs 27:1 says “Do not boast about
tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring.”
Cancer taught me to take naps. I still get in my husband’s chair often and
turn off the world for twenty minutes at a time. It is
okay to rest.
Cancer taught me not to feel sorry for myself because
someone always has it worse than I do. I
walked into Baylor for my treatments.
Some people came in by wheel chair.
I valet parked, thanks to my parents, while other patients arrived by
bus. My husband had excellent insurance,
thanks to XTO, and I never had to worry about money. I met people who were
broke because of their illness. I was
able to still live in Fairfield and drive back and forth. I met families who had moved to Dallas
because their fight for life was all consuming.
I may have had cancer, but I had it so good.
The told the boys the main source of my JOY was Jesus. Yesterday I heard the song “In the
Garden.” It sums it up. “He walks with me, and He talks with me, and
He tells me I am His own.” I am not
alone in this life. I have no strength,
happiness, power, talent, patience, or anything worth a flip without Jesus
Christ. I draw it all from HIM! I was empty, but He filled me up. I was lost.
He found me. This JESUS thing is
real. It is not just a Sunday thing or a
dress up and go to church thing. It is
life!
That was the end of my sermon with them. I thought later about our talk. I will also
tell them one day that like Paul, I have a thorn in my flesh. In 2 Corinthians 12, Paul pleaded with the
Lord to take his thorn from him, and the Lord said “My grace is sufficient for
you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
The passage concludes with “When I am weak, I am strong.”
I am weak, but He is strong!
I am nothing, but He is everything!
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