Colorado alone with four kids!

Sunday a week ago I took off on the longest road trip to date with all four of my kids.  We pulled out of the driveway at 3:30 a.m. with our sights set on Manitou Springs, Colorado and arrived by late afternoon. We checked into our hotel and headed out on an adventure to find some dinner. 

The town was charming. Colorado Springs may surround it, but they are as different as Paris, Texas and Paris, France.  Manitou Springs actually reminded me my days in Europe. Every storefront tells a story and seemingly invites you in.  Places like Manitou are special and unforgettable. 

Denver was our home away from home.  My oldest daughter played softball, but we still had time for fun…the most fun perhaps being the cooler weather and the mountains. 

After a few days though, I missed my husband. I missed my dogs. I even missed my house, but managed to block it all out and cherish the time away with my crew.  I may never have all four of them to myself again for an entire week, so I loved it while it lasted!

And then…the voyage home.  It was treacherous.  When we reached Amarillo, we voted to make it to Dallas.  (I would not recommend this to anyone who does not love coffee and have a strong bladder.) 

I drove and drove.  I prayed and prayed.  Just like Motel 6, the Monicos, my in laws,  left the light on for us until 3:30 in the morning.

Today on the last leg of our trip, I journeyed down memory lane back to when my kids were little.  I was outnumbered then too, but overwhelmingly determined to get out.   Loading up the Suburban and getting them all buckled in was a beating! I needed a serious nap by the time I got us all ready.  However, I poured myself a cup of coffee and hit the road.

Dallas seemed so far back then. I mastered the art of driving with one hand and somehow reached back with my other arm to feed a baby or to plug a mouth with a pacifier.  (No wonder I now frequent the chiropractor.) 

It was only 90 miles away, but seemed like eternity.   Standard procedure was a fresh diaper or trip to the potty before we left our house.  I recall one horrific trip into the McDonald’s bathroom in Ennis. I was the guilty party.  I held Blaise in my arms and used the restroom.  Banner was in the stall with us. She probably had to button my pants.   I have no clue what I did with the boys, but we made it. 

Today was different though.  That is what hit me!  Dallas to Fairfield was the easiest drive in the world.   The distance has not changed, but my view of the drive has changed over the past 12 years since I first drove it with my tribe.  My circumstances have changed, not the distance.  My tribe grew up! 

Sometimes though we cannot change our circumstances, and then life is really all about perspective. My favorite book to read and reread in the summer is “One Thousand Gifts” by Ann Voskamp.  She writes “The practice of giving thanks…eucharisteo…this is the way we practice the presence of God, stay present to His presence, and it is always a practice of the eyes.  We don’t have to change what we see. Only the way we see.” 

I shed a few tears this week over the majesty of the mountains in Colorado.  Pike’s Peak seems to reach the heavens, but you cannot stay up there forever. Likewise, ups and downs in life are inevitable.   The key is the way we see the mountains and valleys.  Choose this week to see them both as a blessing!

Passions of life!

This week I was reminded on a trip home from Dallas what happens when a God-given passion comes alive.   Let me back up.  The oldest Monico, big sister, one who often takes the lead if she is given the slightest chance, joined the political realms of life several years ago.  The election got her attention.  The debates enticed her. Her bedroom suddenly was transformed into American Flags and propaganda supporting her favorite candidate. 

Her excitement was fun to watch.  She attempted time and time again to carry on conversations with us about what was going on in D.C. and around the world, but nobody here had a clue! Her knowledge surpassed us quickly. 

My husband and I vote.  We are proud Americans and equally proud Texans; however, our constitutional aspirations cease there.  What transpired within our daughter was not because she was following in our footsteps.  It was like God created her to dive into what was going on with her local, state, and national government.  When she talks politics, she comes alive.  It is all passion.  I know that one day God will provide her with a job that taps into the gifts and passions He gave her. 

I fell absolutely love with writing when I was in third grade. It is still my passion.  I currently am sitting in a room full of family members.  By this, I mean extended family, plus the six of us who reside here.  One kid is playing a ukulele, my husband is loudly cooking stir-fry in his wok, several of my loved ones are sharing keto recipes, and one of the dogs is barking.  In the midst of the chaos, I am writing and as happy as can be.  God made me for this! 

My other passion is kids!  When I read out loud in the library, I come alive!  Thankfully, my pastor asked for me teach the children’s sermon today.  I enjoyed every second of being up there with my little buddies.  Tomorrow I will begin teaching summer school.  Although that means I will be forced to wake up much earlier than usual and skip my nap, I am thrilled about getting back into the groove of school.  Sporting events around town also “fill my cup.”  Seeing my kid’s peers, FCA students, and kids I previously taught gives me with energy and puts me on a natural high.  It is not just me! 

Back to my oldest.  She flew into Love Field late Thursday night. I picked her up, already feeling a bit tired and weary from the drive and my delicious Mexican food dinner with girlfriends.  When she got in the car and started telling me stories about her week, I woke back up.  Her enthusiasm rubbed off on me.  It was contagious.  I considered visiting Starbucks on the way home, but no longer needed to make a coffee stop. 

We can’t just stop here though with our zeal.  Our passion cannot just be related to politics, jobs, sports teams, or hobbies that get us going!  Our passion, as Believers in Christ, must be Jesus. 

No matter where we work, play, study, and live, we must show love to everyone we meet and then point, giving all of the credit to Jesus.  Adding this task to your to-do list may seem overwhelming.  The focus of my kid’s message today was 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18.  It is a good, simple way for us all to start.  It says “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”   

Get out this week.  Be kind.  Show love, give thanks, and pray continually!  Be ready to tell someone about Jesus Christ.  Let Him be your passion! 

BERRIES in Texas

Last night I did a good deed, not that I am bragging or anything!   I walked over and turned off the water on the berries for my hubby. I still had on my shoes and there was no reason not to lend a helping hand. I also absolutely love making, baking, and especially eating fresh berry cobbler.  Hopefully, I earned a nice batch of berries on down the road. 

When I reached the water faucet, I utilized one of the greatest lessons my Dad ever taught me.  “Righty, tighty, lefty loosey.”  The practical tip comes in handy on nearly a daily basis. 

My Dad also taught me how to drive a golf cart at some point during my childhood.  One night I must have begged to park it in the garage. I say begged because I cannot imagine him intentionally asking me to do such a thing.  I do not remember the details, but I do recall what happened when I ever so gently crashed the golf cart into the garage wall.  It just so happened that the point of impact was at the water faucet, and water went everywhere. 

When you first learn a new skill, it is natural to want to do it all of the time. In this case, I probably only knew the basics of driving and took it “one notch too far.”  (Oh, I wish I could say that my driving record improved, but I would be lying.)

This one “One notch too far” concept is one that I notice often in life and especially with my family.  One of my children is a natural leader, but one notch too far makes her bossy and controlling.  At a young age, one of my boys was an analytical, deep thinker.  However, anxiety took over when he could not keep his thinking balanced and turn it off.  One of my crew is laid back; however, laid back can lazy when it is not managed and goes one notch too far. 

I battle several of these issues too.  If you look up “peacemaker” in the dictionary, you might find a picture of me there smiling and wearing a glorious halo.  That makes me sound so spiritual and wonderful, right?  I often quote Matthew 5:9.  It says “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called Children of God.” 

Could the trait I proudly embrace ever be negative?  The sad truth is that being a peacemaker and allowing it to go one notch too far turned me into a people pleaser, and being a people pleaser is horrible.  It is a never ending pursuit, because pleasing everyone is impossible.  It is also rooted in insecurity!  (Gosh, I sure did hang up my own spiritual halo quickly.)

I hold no degree in theology or philosophy, but perhaps our greatest God-given strength, intended for good and Kingdom work can be our downfall.  If pushed one notch too far by the Enemy or by our own selfish pursuits, our flesh takes over.  What a waste!

It has been a gradual process to get my people pleasing tendencies back on the right track.  I constantly have to keep myself in check with the help of the Lord.  Romans 8:6 says “The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.” 

Our minds are constantly at war.  The war rages to pull us from a life controlled by the Spirit to a life controlled by our own desires and inclinations.  Be aware this week of your “One notch too far” tendencies.  A relationship with Jesus is the only hope for balance! Seek Him and be blessed! 

 

Major Dog FIGHT

Because deer season has arrived, last night I settled in with my girls and planned on watching a movie.  After scanning the multitude of Direct TV channels we pay a high price for and finding nothing, they moved the Netflix box into the living room.  My plan was to watch one of “their” series.  Kids these days do not binge on cookies and cream ice cream or cheese dip like we did back in the day.  They binge on Netflix, sometimes watching an entire series in only a day or two. 

A dog fight broke out right before we selected our series for the evening.  Sadly, about every two months, our Blue Heeler jumps on our lab.  Belle is the Monico matriarch, our elderly lab. These two cuddle up to happily nap together often, and then Salty attacks her next for no reason at all. 

Nature would call Salty the “Alpha Dog.” Whatever you want to call it - it is heartbreaking; and I am incapable of breaking them up.  What really stinks is that our Jack Russell joins in and surprisingly fights Belle too.

My brother in law is a trivia guy.  He informed me that dogs will always jump in and attack the weaker dog.  It makes no sense to me.  Bubs and Belle are close. Why on earth would he attack her, not defend her?    

Last night’s brawl ended with a bang, literally a bang.  I sprinted to the carport door to yell at my girls for help. I also grabbed a broom to beat Salty, the aggressor, with.  My girls were nowhere to be found.  I yelled like a maniac, but thought they abandoned me. 

Right about that time, I heard the backdoor slam and then a gunshot.  Blaise remembered her Dad’s advice to shoot a gun if they dogs were fighting.  Banner, the oldest sister, grabbed a pistol and ran out of the house firing.  The dogs scattered. I thought I was dead.  My girls were very proud that they saved the day. 

We never started a series, but laughed for a while. I finally caught my breath and surveyed the damage.  Belle and Bubs were beaten up.  My pinky finger got bit too.  I know better than to reach in the middle and pry three dogs apart, but I do every time

I hate it.  My reaction is always the same…I want to make the pain stop!  In life, I want to make things stop too.  When life challenges me, the people I love are hurting, fighting, I feel afraid, or even get a bind-I want to call cease fire. 

Psalm 56:3 says “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.”  I need to remember that I cannot control much, but that the LORD can control everything.  The real battle is trust.  My trust must be in Jesus Christ.  We must all remember that this week.   There is no stop button in life- for me or for you, but we all have Jesus. 

Back to the horrible dog fight…When we talk, gossip, add in our two cents worth, or judge others- we in a way jump in and attack the weaker one.  Humans, when walking in the flesh, are no better than dogs!   It just makes no sense, and we all need help!  

Proverbs offers many suggestions about getting along.  One of my favorites is Proverbs 15:18.  It says “A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel.” 

Strive this week to calm the quarrel.  Strive this week to operate in love and trust, knowing Jesus is by your side.  That is my goal.  Make it yours too. 

Country dogs & fires

I feel sorry for our dogs when we all head back to school and work on Mondays.  They must be downright lonely and bored to tears.  Over the weekend, we typically entertain a houseful of kids who play basketball, ride four wheelers, fish, and come in and out of the house constantly.  The dogs tag along with them step for step and love our “everyone is welcome” way of life. 

Last night, my fifteen year old son and a few of his friends lit a small bonfire down by the lake.  They selected a perfect location.  My table by the front window was ideal for supervising them.  I enjoyed the warmth of my own fire in the house.  Their bonfire put out sufficient light so I could see them.  My job was easy. 

Before it was time for me to crank up the “taxi” and “uber” everyone home, the crew came up to eat.  As customary, I had plenty of snacks on hand.  The boys will eat anything and everything that does not eat them first.  I never even thought about the dogs.  I assumed the threesome followed the kids home, but one was missing. 

If you read my column often, you can guess which one it was.  It was Bubs!  His nickname should be  M.I.A.  It was time for us to drive everyone home; therefore, I reluctantly left the house and left him on the loose.  I pictured him in my mind several counties away following the scent of something irresistible. 

When we got home, Brazos made a round on his four-wheeler, but returned home empty handed.  We sat down to warm up by the fire one more time before we headed down the hallway for bed.   Brazos remembered when they parked the Ranger, they walked in the shop to get a drink.  I did not offer to go and look. I was not responsible, and it was cold.  Brazos headed out again. 

Thankfully, Bubs walked in right behind him. He looked pooped.  I fussed at him as usual.

He looked up at me innocently though, seeming to say…I just followed them into the shop.  True enough, he followed the crowd and got locked up. He nearly also got locked out of the house for the night too!   (This sounds like an episode of the t.v. series COPS.) 

Conversations that take place in our home regularly could be appropriately applied to this scenario with Bubs “following” the crowd.  We explain to our kids that you can be in the wrong place, at the wrong time, with the wrong crowd and get into big trouble!  Following the crowd may be fun, but it may not be right!  I encourage them to proceed with caution and “Just say No” when in doubt. 

Unlike Bubs, who followed the crowd in the shop, I must admit that most of the trouble I found growing up, I discovered 100% on my own.  (Still true today, this is not just past tense) I would like to blame someone else, but it would be a lie!

I guess a good rule of thumb is NOT to follow our own fleshly desires and not follow to the crowd! IF we are looking for a person to follow, the only one worthy is Jesus.  If we are looking for an instruction book that covers it all, it is the Bible.   John 8:12 says “Again Jesus spoke to them saying, ‘I am the light of the world.  Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.’” 

Whether we walk in darkness or in light depends on who we follow.  Follow Jesus this week. 

Carry the mat-Texas football!

Thankfully, Saturday morning I knew what direction to take this week with my column.  Before I crawled out of bed, I exchanged texts with a fellow football momma.  Her son was injured Friday; and sadly this injury will keep him out for the rest of the year.  Luckily, he is in 11^th grade and will play again.  Supporting his team from the sidelines though will seem like eternity.  His mom claimed that others would have to “carry the mat” for him.  Tears fell down my face when I read her words. 

I love that our football program yearly adopts a motto and verse.  “Keep it simple” will never lose its pizazz.  This year, the theme is “carry the mat.”  It comes from Luke 5:18-20 and says “Some men came carrying a paralyzed man on a mat and tried to take him into the house to lay him before Jesus.  When they could not find a way to do this because of the crowd, they went up onto the roof and lowered him on his mat through the tiles into the middle of the crowd right in front of Jesus.” 

Now I get “carry the mat.”  Other football families have seen signs of this “mat” phenomenon I bet.  The Word never hits us all the same or means the same thing, but for Believers-it is real.  The Word is personal and meets us individually to offer help with whatever situation we are in.

Carry the mat is about friendship.  My car is under the weather.  Twice last week I asked a friend/co-worker to give me a ride.  She did not mind, and in a way-carried my mat.  When I was diagnosed with cancer in 2007, a fellow teacher completed my gifted and talented testing.  She carried my mat.   

A few years later when I found my home in the library, my co-worker’s mother became ill.  I joyfully carried her mat and managed to keep the doors open for check out and classes.  She needed to spend every second possible with her mother.  Was I glad when she returned?  Absolutely!  Was I glad that I could somewhat carry her mat?  Absolutely! 

There is one common denominator in this “mat” thing.  We must connect with other people in order for it to happen.  We cannot carry a friend’s mat if we live isolated, friendless.  We must do life with others in order to cart their burdens, their mats. 

The pendulum in America seems to be leaning towards negativity and hatred.  The friction often makes me feel like I should just keep to myself and disconnect to stay safe and secure.  However, because of my personality and the Holy Spirit living in me, I cannot.  Relationships and people must be priority.  If not, how can we ever carry the mat or have our mats carried?

The particular, injured football player mentioned plays on the offensive line with my son.  The night my son’s defensive jersey was stripped off and replaced with 77, this young man and the Coach Bachtel gave him a quick tutorial on what to do.  I captured it on camera.  Google taught me that offensive lineman who cannot receive a forward pass must wear a number between 50 and 79, thus the 77. 

With this precious guy down, his mom said someone will have to carry his mat.  It suddenly all made sense.  Whether it be on the field, the office, at home, or at the grocery store-carry someone’s mat this week.  If you are down, in need, allow someone to carry your mat.   

Perfect Sunday

Writing today is somewhat challenging.  Determined to be in the sun after two weeks of extreme cloudiness, I brought my laptop to the back porch in search of sunshine and vitamin D.  Quickly, the “tickle bees” found me.  They are swarming around me like I am a piece of unwrapped Halloween candy leftover in a plastic, orange Jack-o-lantern.  My husband is talented though.  He utilizes his cap and swats them every time I scream for help. 

However, he will soon head off to fill up a deer feeder, and I will be left alone without any protection.  I call him B; therefore, when I scream “bee” no one else listens.  I refuse to offer up my setting though.  I love fall, and it is finally here!

Today has been one of those perfect days.  Nothing about life is really flawless or perfect at all, but today was really nice.  My teenage sons went to church with me.  I climbed up on a chair, without injury, and hung the last few pieces of paper that I needed to hang before the book fair begins at my school tomorrow. I grocery shopped alone and stocked up on all of the essentials.  My husband cooked a massive pot of chili.  To top it all off, I took the dogs for a ride around here, and I am nearly caught up on laundry. 

Really though…church today was amazing.  I laughed out loud, took notes, and somehow everything came together and really encouraged me.  My Pastor talked about how we come to church with our happy faces on, answer everyone we come into contact with saying that life is great, knowing that we are truthfully falling apart.  His advice about this façade we all wear so well was to “be a part of a group where I can know others and be known by them.”

I thankfully can say that I have those people!  I do timelessly wear a smile and give the obvious “I am great nod,” but God has given me a small group of women to bear my soul to and to admit often that all is not well.  We all need that! 

I jotted down numerous questions during the sermon:   Do I take up my cross and live daily showing it, knowing that Jesus paid it all on the cross?  Do others see God in me?  Does my life point others to Jesus?  If I really follow Jesus and join Him, what will it cost me?  What needs to go from my life?  What needs to stay?  Many challenges in life came to mind. 

Maybe we need to avoid the distractions, like how my daughter just started screaming because she caught her newly highlighted hair on fire with a candle. 

Maybe we need to not give up so easily, like how I had to bring the laptop inside because the bees were attacking me. 

Maybe we need to spend more time in the Word and less with technology, like how today blessed me being in church and hearing the truth.

One of my favorite songs as a child was “Leaning On the Everlasting Arms.”  We sang it today. 

It says “What a fellowship, what a joy divine, Leaning on the everlasting arms, What a blessedness, what a peace of mine, Leaning on the everlasting arms” 

Today made me think…perhaps I have been trying to stand up alone, do too much with